To friendship...

Whenever I got nervous about giving my toast at my friend Kelsey's wedding (the purpose for our recent trip to AZ), I reminded myself that it was truth, that it was what rang in my heart when I thought of this moment in my friend's life. I worried that it wasn't funny enough, that it didn't give enough detail, but ultimately Kelsey was touched.  Because of that and the handful of solid compliments that night, I feel inclined to share it here.  It didn't come out exactly like this, but I was pretty close.  I started by introducing myself and then...

I’ve had the privilege of being Kelsey’s friend for a very long time.  In fact, our friendship that began in elementary school will reach its 25th anniversary this fall. 

I’m honored today to have been a part of this beautiful celebration of Kelsey and Anthony’s marriage. 

Almost seven years ago I got married, and one of my favorite photographs from that day is of Kelsey, an hour or so before the ceremony, pen and paper in hand, putting the final touches on her toast. 

What makes me love that picture is the fact that I can actually see Kelsey’s writing in it, that familiar print that I see these days on birthday cards and in the covers of picture books she sends to my kids but that always reminds me of our note-passing days, of yearbook pages detailing our teenage heartbreaks and the inside jokes that sent us into belly laughs that particular year.  I believe it was in those days that we really solidified this lifelong friendship. (I believe this is where I started sounding pretty choked up, but I rallied on!)

With Kelsey’s wedding day approaching, as I became more and more excited for her, I realized there’s a part of me that longs to write a note, to fold it up, write Kelsey’s name on it, and pass it to that sixteen-year-old version of her at her locker.  If I could do that, I wouldn’t spoil all the fun of life’s surprises, but there are a couple of things I would say.

The first is this. As pretty as you are in your teens (although you don’t seem to know it), you become even lovelier over the years.  While the rest of us are starting to show our wear, in your thirties you look more gorgeous than ever, particularly on April 28, 2013.  You’ll see what I mean. (That part got a big woot-woot.  She really did look amazing!)

The second and more important thing I would tell that sixteen-year-old Kelsey is to keep listening to your gut, to that instinct of yours that drives you to do your own thing, to paint your bedroom walls a bold green and to later dye your hair a similar shade.  While your sense of direction will occasionally make us all wonder where exactly you’re heading over the years, things work out as they should.  The right paths will cross when it’s time, and the adventure will continue.

To this Kelsey, and to Anthony, I wish you many years of belly laughs, inside-jokes, a strong partnership for the ups and downs to come, and a lifetime of treasured memories between each of your many anniversaries.

To Kelsey and Anthony...

Reflecting back this week on that whirlwind weekend, I now find myself hoping that I can guide Michael and Sophie to value their friendships, to let them grow and change as they do, and to be witnesses (perhaps even on paper) for the many chapters in their friends' life stories.  

I'm hopeful they will be that for each other as well.

I'm also hopeful that Mike and I can start making more kid-free vacation plans!

Way Out in the Desert

One of my dearest friends got married in Arizona last weekend, and Mike and I made a quick weekend getaway out of the occasion. While I would have loved more time with Kelsey and palm trees and my husband, the many days home with sick kids this year really ate up my personal days. It's good that we planned this adventure to be a quick one. 

Here I am at 8 A.M. drinking a terrible glass of Pinot Grigio at Detroit Metro Airport last Saturday morning.  The justification for that (and the wine soon after on the plane) was that I wanted to sleep on the way to Arizona so I would be somewhat prepared for the time difference and ready to hit the ground running for the rehearsal and whatnot.  And it was my first time flying away from my babies.  Yes, babies.  Back off.

Yes, I did sleep a bit on the plane, in case you're wondering.  And no, I didn't get tan.  My Irish skin just doesn't do that.

Michael and Sophie stayed at my parents' house and were pretty excited that Mommy and Daddy were going on an adventure on an airplane while they were on an adventure of their own.  I left some little gifts for my mom to give the kids each morning, and she sent texts with photos like the one below to tide me over.

"Thanks for the pinwheels, Mom.  They're almost as cool as a vacation."

The kids slept well, had no accidents, and only mentioned that they missed mommy and daddy toward the end of the last day.  Couldn't have gone better, really.  We're lucky that my mom really knows these two so well after caring for them a couple of days a week during the school year, and they clearly felt at home with her and my dad.

We're also lucky that Mike and I didn't die and orphan our kids, not that I worried about that compulsively for weeks leading up to this or anything. 

Chaparral Suites - Our hotel in Scottsdale was a taste of paradise when back home spring was taking its sweet time kicking into gear.

The weekend in Scottsdale included the wedding rehearsal at the breathtaking Royal Palms Resort, a visit to Kelsey and Anthony's house (got a peek at Kelsey's dress--perfection), a dip in the pool back at the hotel, an amazing gazillion-course rehearsal dinner at Noca--a restaurant run by one of the groomsmen, lots of girl time in the bridal suite on the day of the wedding, and the emotional and beautiful wedding itself.  

Rehearsal Dinner

To commemorate our trip we picked up an Arizona Christmas ornament at the airport for my parents as a thank-you and one for ourselves.  I also found this book for the kids:

Way Out in the Desert by Jennifer Ward, T. J. Marsh, Kenneth J. Spengler

Thanks to this book Mike and I are now confident in our pronunciation of saguaro, ocotillo, and javalina, and Michael and Sophie love taking turns finding the numbers hidden on each page.

One of the reasons I didn't blog much leading up to this getaway was that I was putting some of my writing time and energy into my toast.  I'll be posting that in the next day or two as well.

Two cheers for gymnastics!

As is the case with so many activities we do as a family of four, I don't have any pictures of Michael and Sophie participating in their gymnastics classes yet.  With our one-to-one kid-to-parent ratio, pictures can be tricky to take when also spotting those kids on rings and bars.

Even without photographic proof, I hope you'll believe me when I say that Michael and Sophie love their gymnastics class and are doing great!  We go every Saturday morning, although we've missed a few due to other fun--Easter egg hunt, their own birthday party, a weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's. Mike and I have been enjoying this weekend ritual as well and can't quite break the habit of stopping for a mid-morning meal afterward.  :P  This weekend we also stopped at a mom-to-mom sale and our neighborhood park before bringing the kids home for their nap.  I love when we're able to wear the kids out so thoroughly!

You might recall from my post five months ago that my primary motivation for getting the kids into a class like this wasn't really for them to learn the proper form for a forward roll.  It was to help them to become more confident.  I'm sure it's partly just a matter of maturing a bit and growing physically as well, but overall Michael and Sophie now eagerly enter parties and play dates without any visible anxiety.  They're more sure-footed on playground equipment, needing very little help, and they seem more willing to jump and climb in all sorts of situations like jump-houses and mall playscapes.

For example, Sophie kind of blew Mike and me away when she lifted her foot as high as her ear and pulled herself into this wagon climber...



I know it's not exactly phenomenal, but we were proud of how she clearly just believed she could do this and did.  I was just about to point out that little wheel sticking out up front for her to step on, but yeah, never mind!  Who knows whether or not any of this stuff is thanks to gymnastics, but it certainly hasn't hurt.

By the way, both kids are solidly in underwear during the day and just wear diapers when sleeping. The diaper peeking out of Soph's pants in that video has to do with not quite pristine undies after the day in child care and a doctor's appointment just before this.  With all my talk of our potty training journey, I thought I'd better explain.  Speaking of the doctor, the kids were more brave there than ever before as well!

Chances are, I know, that these positive changes could also have to do with my own increasing comfort and confidence that Michael and Sophie can handle themselves.  To me they have reached a physical size and agility that gives me the cue to step back a bit more.  It's funny to think that a lot of kids are this big at one-and-a-half or two-years-old...I wonder how that must change things. Anyway, I know Michael and Sophie feed off of my vibes for better or for worse, but it all goes hand-in-hand really.

Laundry Helpers...Again

Michael and Sophie's three-year well visit confirmed that, while they are still in the 25th percentile or lower in all areas of size, they are still growing on the appropriate curve.  They're still my peanuts, and they're fine.  And they still love doing this.

However, the laundry baskets are only so big, and I'm sure the days of taking turns "driving the car" are probably numbered.  In the spirit of "The Last Time,"  I took some pictures again this morning. 

Here's a post from almost a year ago where they're doing the same thing for one of the first times.  

Mission Completion!

Ten days after Michael and Sophie's birthday I've decided to share one more birthday detail.  :)

The theme of their party was rockets, inspired by their love of the show Little Einsteins and that fabric I discovered.  At the last minute, like 25 minutes before family was to arrive on the kids' actual birthday for dinner and cake, I decided to whip something together to make presenting the kids with their gifts more of an event.  Or should I say more of a mission...



Are you enjoying our house in party disarray and all that shaky-cam footage?  There's more!  I started recording again after we put on shoes...



Involving family members in the reading of clues was another impromptu decision!  I think the whole thing added a fun touch to the day.  I had fun, anyway.  ;)

3rd Birthday Party

We invited some twin club friends and friends from school to the Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum for a birthday party on Saturday.



I brought two of the pictures, the stars, and the "three" from the kitchen wall for decorations.  With the push-up pops (see the end of this post for details on those) and a few balloons, that was plenty to add a personal touch to the party room.





As always, the kids had a great time with the trains, rockets, water tables, blocks, balls, fire truck, giant bubble maker, floor piano, ambulance, and so on at the museum.





Fitting with the theme of the party, Michael, Mike, and some party friends launched rockets!

At busy events like this I always wish I just relied on my phone's camera and left my big ol' one at home since chasing after kids and trying to soak in the experience myself makes it even tougher to get good photos anyway.  But even out-of-focus moments are pretty special.





"Hey, fire fighter!  How old are you?"



For a little while I was on my own with Soph as she collected balls in her bucket from the giant machine.  While taking these pictures, I was really struck by what a little girl she is now, by how much my babies have grown in three years.



Back in the party room, the kids made slime, ate snacks, and we sang "Happy birthday."  We ran out of time toward the end for presents, but that time was probably better spent playing.  Three and four year old's prefer that anyway, right?




Below are some of my party planning details:

Rocket Party Inspiration

I scanned this fabric for the invitations, push-up wrappers, and some signs.

Rocket Push-Up Cakes Inspiration 

Our Rocket Pops!

I made the push-up wrappers in PowerPoint using the scanned fabric.  I printed them, cut them with a paper cutter, and glued them with glue dots.

The cones I cut out of scrapbook paper (love that stuff although I don't actually scrapbook) by cutting out circles, cutting them in half, rolling them into cones and taping.  I used a dot of that sticky putty stuff for hanging things on walls to hold the cones on the pops since it's easier to pull off than glue dots.  All of that was manageable while catching up on shows after the kids' bedtime.



Brownies, Strawberries, and Cream Recipe

Our Rocket Pops (naked)

I probably should have followed this full recipe rather than finding semi-homemade short-cuts.  I bought brownie bites from Costco hoping to avoid actually baking and cutting, but they were a tad too big for the containers.  I set aside time the night before the party to trim those down, which wasn't too bad.  I also just used a can of whipped cream, but the cream cheese mixture in the recipe probably would have held up better.  Even with waiting to assemble the pops until just a couple of hours before the party, the whipped cream lost its whippiness and the brownies got pretty soggy.  The kids thought they were good, though, so whatevs!

DIY Push-Up Pop Stand

Mike knocked the stands out over a few nights after work.  He had a 4 x 4 cut into four chunks at Home Depot, carefully measured out 12 spots on each, drilled, sanded, and painted them.

We intend to reuse the stands and push-up containers in the future.  They're pretty darn cute.


We're having family over today for the kids' actual birthday.  Stay tuned for pictures of the kids riding their 3rd birthday presents.  ;)

Retro Rocket Rascals Photo Wall

You know what's cool about record album frames?  They're 12 x 12, just like those big squares of scrapbook paper. 

To turn our wall of album frames into a celebration of Michael and Sophie's upcoming 3rd birthday, I bought six sheets of scrapbook paper that coordinated with the party inspiration fabric (see below) and printed six of my favorite photos that I've taken of them in their 3rd year.

Surely anyone who's been in a craft store will recognize these little wooden pieces.  You can get all kinds of painted shapes.  It didn't occur to me how much of this arrangement has a "3" motif until it was up.  There are three photos of both kids, three colors of scrapbook paper, etc.  Like the other coincidental occurrances, I just thought two groups of three stars (67 cents each) would fill the spaces nicely.

We're having the kids' friend birthday party at a science museum, so I searched some rocket party ideas.  On GreyGrey Designs' blog I adored the vintage look of  the fabric on this drink tub (and the many of the party decorations, I later discovered).

So I got my hands on some of the fabric via Ebay ("Retro Rocket Rascals" by Michael Miller)...



...scanned it to make invitations at www.picmonkey.com and some other decor (probably a future post)...

....and Mod Podged some onto a number three...

I traced the three on the wrong side of the fabric for both sides, cut little slits up to the shape, slathered the three and the fabric with the goo, and smoothed it all out with my fingers.  Some parts are a little bumpy, but that was my method.

I originally hung the three with a yellow ribbon staple-gunned to the back and posted it here like that.  After seeing it on the blog, I realized I hated the yellow ribbon and changed it!

Root, root, root, for the Tigers!

We didn't intend to wait until Michael and Sophie were one week shy of turning three before we got them to a Tigers game, but that's just how it went down.  The company Mike works for has a suite at Comerica Park, and we were all lucky enough to go to this afternoon's game.  Way to set the bar, eh?





Typically Michael and Sophie get shy in new places with people they don't know, but not today!  Maybe it was the chilly weather or the unlimited junk food (well, I limited it a little),  or maybe they're just baseball fans...



At one point these two stinkers discovered they could duck and squeeze past the bars that separated one patio from the next.  They were three suites down before we caught the jail breakers!  Terrible three's, people.  Terrible three's.





As cold as it was, and as challenging as it was to keep up with these two, we had a blast!  Someday we'll have to show Michael and Sophie what it's like to go to a game and sit for more than 15 minutes at a time...without a heated space to retreat to...and a private bathroom...and a variety of snacks at arm's reach...but I'm okay with this arrangement whenever it comes our way again!



We stayed long enough to sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" in the 7th inning and headed home at the kids' request.  Having gotten to the park well before the first pitch, I don't think that's too bad.  We got home right at bed time.  :)

Terrible Three's

At parent-teacher conferences last year I told one dad that his daughter was doing fantastic, that she participates in discussions, completes her assignments on time and with care, and that if she kept up such great work I would probably recommend her for the advanced 10th grade class (which I did).  The dad smiled, shook his head.  His daughter, sitting right there with us, beamed at him and giggled.  "Have you heard this a lot today?"  I asked them.

"I've got skills, you know,"  he told his daughter and me.  "I've got parenting skills that I never get to use!"  With child care experience, degrees in education, and years of managing the behavior of adolescent students, his comment resonated with me, and I hoped to say the same one day in regards to my own kids.

But I guess my nearly three-year-old's have other plans for now.

I've heard the rumors and have taken note that "terrible two's" is a misnomer, that two-year-old's have nothing on three-year-old's when it comes to terribleness.  I've been on the look-out, and I'd say already, even though we're still technically in the two's, that we've entered that world.  Overall Michael and Sophie are still caring, playful, and easy-going kids, but there has been more refusing, more running away and chasing, more whining, more...challenges...here lately.

The other night Michael and Sophie wanted to make it clear to us that the "terrible three's" had truly arrived.  At dinner.  In public.  At a relatively nice Italian restaurant.  Mike and I have taken the kids to many meals out going way back to when we had to request large booths to accommodate the two of us, two infant car seats, and the double diaper bag.  Having done this so much, we're typically pretty confident that these adventures will go smoothly.

Out to brunch as infants

Even our particularly stressful meals out have been manageable, and more often than not, on our way out of the restaurant, an arm reaches out from a nearby table to stop us, to compliment us on our well-behaved children.  I didn't realize how inclined people were to do that before experiencing it, and I appreciate the encouragement.

Then Michael let out a yelp at this Italian restaurant on Saturday, and in true monkey-do fashion, Sophie joined in the fun.  They kept this up for a minute or two, and our usual tactics of occupying, quieting, and correcting behavior had no impact.  Then the food came, and the kids filled their noisy mouths with ravioli as Mike and I exchanged looks of exasperation.

At a large table behind us, a work group was celebrating someone's going away.  I know this because there were speeches and mild shouts, and an overall atmosphere of letting down one's hair.  It was comforting to know that, although their outburst surely hadn't gone unnoticed, my kids at least hadn't exceeded our neighbors' decibels.

But in a booth in the opposite direction I noticed an older woman with gray hair in a braided bun and a generous martini sitting alone in a small booth reading her mail.  I did worry that Michael and Sophie might get riled up again and disrupt her evening.

And riled up they got, loudly demanding bites of our meals, refusing to eat more of their own, pulling their straws out of their cups repeatedly, splattering milk around every time and giggling devilishly.  I eventually picked Michael up and took him to the entry area.  We sat down and I told him how much I love going to restaurants with him and Sophie, how they usually follow the rules so well, and we have a fun time.  He agreed.  This is when I winged it.  I told him there were three rules for restaurants: 1) eat your food, 2) be quiet, and 3) listen to Mommy and Daddy.  I had him repeat them back to me.  We talked about the choices he had made so far and the choices he would make now so we could keep eating at restaurants.

In the middle of our little talk I heard more yelping coming from Sophie back at the table. She was in Mike's lap when we came back, and I sat beside them with Michael in mine.  I told Sophie that Michael and I were just talking about how much we like going to restaurants, like the one with the train that runs around the ceiling and the one with the fish tanks where we get breakfast, but how they have to follow the rules if we're going to keep going out like this.  I asked Michael to tell Sophie the three rules, and he did.  I told both of them to look around at the other people at the restaurant, that being quiet is how we are nice to them, that we're helping them enjoy a good dinner time that way.  They seemed to be taking it in.  At this point the server returned with Mike's credit card.  He had gotten the ball rolling to wrap this particular meal up pretty quickly.

To my surprise, on the way out the door, an arm reached out.  The woman with the martini stopped me and said, "You have a beautiful family.  My daughter is a clinical psychologist, and she would have loved this."  I don't know how much of what had gone on she could have heard, but she looked me hard in the eyes and said, "You are a good mom."  Best. Compliment. Ever.  You can see why I'm getting all wordy with this post to savor it.  It meant a lot more to me than the positive comments that come after easy meals.

Out to brunch last spring

As the challenges build now and in years to come, I suppose I should try to appreciate these opportunities to stretch my parenting legs.

Happily, though, Michael and Sophie were able to tell us the rules for restaurants at lunch with our parents the next day (see, we eat out a lot), and they behaved beautifully.  I'm not kidding myself, though, that this particular problem is solved or that I actually know what the hell I'm doing.  I'm sure this is only the beginning, and I really ought to study up!

Out the door photo shoot

On the way out the door to Easter dinner, I stopped the kids on the deck to try to get a few pictures.  They were wearing sweaters that their Grammie's aunt made for them before they were born, the lighting was pleasant, and I've been relying far too much on my phone's camera lately.  It seemed like a good time to practice a bit.



"Hold up your Easter toys!" didn't get the gleeful result I was aiming for, but I kind of love this anyway.



I cropped a few to 851 x 315 as potential Facebook cover photos.





The one above was me trying to catch Sophie giving Michael a kiss.  The contented look on his face as he waits for it and the way she looks like she's telling him a secret made this the cover photo winner.