Little Minnows

Michael and Sophie had their first swim lesson today!

We never did parent-and-child classes (seemed like a risky commitment with twins--what if one parent is sick or out of town?), but we tried to make up for that over the years with visits to our old recreation center's pool and swimming on vacations.  Still, this is a preschool level class at a pool they had never been to, with instructors they had never met before today, and with no parent participation to ease the inevitable nerves.  They did quite well all things considered.

As all the kids were sorted into groups outside the pool based on experience, Sophie started to cry a little.  I tried not to be a total helicopter and stepped up just to remind Sophie that we were still there watching and to ask what the instructors would prefer me to do.  One asked that I just walk Sophie over to the zero-entry space where the lesson would begin, and the rest of the group would meet us there.  Once the two teachers and Michael were there and sitting in the water (Michael and Sophie are the only Minnows--rock on, private lessons!), Sophie walked right up to join in and was a champ the rest of the time.  Soon after that Michael chose not to roll onto his belly and blow bubbles as instructed, but he seemed to be just testing out how much choice he had and participated fully in the rest of the lesson.

Mike and I got a kick out of watching the kids kick their feet in the water, jump off the side of the pool into the instructors' arms (so brave!), swim with barbell floaters, and collect rings from the bottom of the pool.  Michael and Sophie are just crazy cute kids, if I do say so myself, and a little distance seems to make that even more obvious.  It was also clear that both kids were having a blast and should be thrilled to go again next week.

Please, no pukies! Please, no pukies!

After seeing The Naptime Decorator's post today of her most popular posts of 2013, I curiously looked at my stats.  I didn't look very long before getting completely sidetracked by the few posts I never finished and never published.  

This post I stumbled on from earlier in the year reminded me why I sent Mike a couple of texts urging him to take precautions (wash hands a lot, shower as soon as he gets home) while he's playing poker today with friends who have been sick recently.  Influenza and the Norovirus are knocking family after family off their feet.  Am I paranoid?  Read on to see why! (There are no near-death experiences involved, just stuff that made me whine a bit.)

From January 2013

If Michael and Sophie remember anything specific about their first official gymnastics class from today it might be meeting their teacher Ms. Michelle, or swinging on the ropes and rings, or balancing or something like that.

Mike and I will remember it as the day after the stomach bug sent us straight to hell, how we watched both kids tumble like champs all the while hoping nobody, including ourselves, puked.  And nobody did!  Miraculous.

Sophie was sick earlier this week.  We came home from the zoo on Sunday after only seeing penguins, birds, and reptiles because about 20 minutes into the adventure Sophie wanted to be held and then asked to go home.  We knew that was a pretty bad sign.

On Monday my mom came, and kiddo seemed back to her playful self by the afternoon.  

However, on Tuesday morning, just as I was wrapping up my morning routine and putting my coat on for work, Sophie threw up.  Twice.  I was too late (by two minutes!) to put in for a substitute teacher in the online system, so I had to make phone calls, email sub plans, and once again re-adjust my vision for how this week would go.

By Wednesday morning Sophie didn't have a fever and hadn't puked in 24 hours, but Mike stayed home since she was still pretty lethargic.

My mom came on Thursday and emailed me that we might want to plan to be home on Friday as Sophie just still wasn't herself yet.  I called Mike, he prepared to be home on Friday just in case, and I made a mental note to dock Sophie's first year of allowance to cover one week of missed child care.

But since the kids had been well for over 24 hours and all looked good, they did go to child care on Friday. 

I, however, stayed home after enduring a night of my own stomach bug torture--it hit me around 11 PM Thursday night.  Amid my agony I took a mental account of this week's damage: two sick days, two days of sub plans, incomplete plans for next week to finish at home by Monday, and an out-of-control stack of ungraded work for me to return to. So not my style.

At least I got a day to myself to recover...

Except that by noon the child care center called to say Michael was flushed, sleepy, and just not himself.  He didn't have a fever or anything, but he fell asleep at the lunch table without eating anything.  I called Mike so we could figure out our game plan,  knowing from experience that our boy was sure to throw up at any second, and I was still in rough shape myself.

To my further dismay, Mike answered his phone from our driveway.  He had come home having gotten sick at work.  

So at this point, twelve hours into the stomach bug and feeling the need for rest and assistance myself, I was essentially a single parent with two kids to pick up, and lots of puking still on the horizon. I knew grandparent back-up was unavailable, so I did my best to take on the "a mom must do" mentality.

I'm pretty sure the kids' teachers felt sorry for me with my sick-day hair, no make-up, and shaky hands as I tried to put the kids' coats on.  They kindly helped me get the kids out the door, but I had to sit down in the lobby for a few minutes to settle my stomach.  Thankfully, Michael was willing and able to walk to the car along with Sophie, and she was relatively cooperative about climbing in the car herself (there's typically a little silliness involved).  

Once home, I rolled out the nap mats, turned on Little Einsteins, and we chilled like that well into the evening--with the exception of when Michael did in fact puke.

This is where the draft ended.  I don't recall much more, so I'm glad I documented that much as it reminds me, at least, why I feel something akin to PTSD when I hear of highly-contagious garbage going around.  It also brings to mind this post about the kids' first stomach bug.  Ominously, these two posts were written in the middle of the last two Januaries.

Alrightly, time to wash hands again, kids!!!

Fantastic Gymnastics

With one class to go in the session, Michael and Sophie received ribbons at gymnastics yesterday.  Knowing this was happening, I was sure to finally bring my phone along to capture some of this fun. Here's a bit of what I got in between lifting my shorties up to the bars, handing them rings and ropes, and making sure they remembered to wait their turns.

Sophie on the bar.

Michael on the rings.

Not the best stuff, but I tried. They've done way cuter, way more impressive stuff, but you can always ask their Grammie (Mike's mom) or Grandpa (my dad) to vouch for that.  Both of those grandparents filled in for Mike after his recent surgery, and like all grandmas and grandpas they're completely unbiased regarding Michael and Sophie's cuteness and abilities, I swear.  ;)

Aside from the confidence this class seems to have given Michael and Sophie, it also inspired a new ending to games of Follow the Leader at home.

This is how their gymnastics classes end--the bye-bye song, stickers, and stamps.  We told their teacher about the bye-bye song showing up at home, and she said that happens a lot.  It is pretty catchy.

Two cheers for gymnastics!

As is the case with so many activities we do as a family of four, I don't have any pictures of Michael and Sophie participating in their gymnastics classes yet.  With our one-to-one kid-to-parent ratio, pictures can be tricky to take when also spotting those kids on rings and bars.

Even without photographic proof, I hope you'll believe me when I say that Michael and Sophie love their gymnastics class and are doing great!  We go every Saturday morning, although we've missed a few due to other fun--Easter egg hunt, their own birthday party, a weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's. Mike and I have been enjoying this weekend ritual as well and can't quite break the habit of stopping for a mid-morning meal afterward.  :P  This weekend we also stopped at a mom-to-mom sale and our neighborhood park before bringing the kids home for their nap.  I love when we're able to wear the kids out so thoroughly!

You might recall from my post five months ago that my primary motivation for getting the kids into a class like this wasn't really for them to learn the proper form for a forward roll.  It was to help them to become more confident.  I'm sure it's partly just a matter of maturing a bit and growing physically as well, but overall Michael and Sophie now eagerly enter parties and play dates without any visible anxiety.  They're more sure-footed on playground equipment, needing very little help, and they seem more willing to jump and climb in all sorts of situations like jump-houses and mall playscapes.

For example, Sophie kind of blew Mike and me away when she lifted her foot as high as her ear and pulled herself into this wagon climber...



I know it's not exactly phenomenal, but we were proud of how she clearly just believed she could do this and did.  I was just about to point out that little wheel sticking out up front for her to step on, but yeah, never mind!  Who knows whether or not any of this stuff is thanks to gymnastics, but it certainly hasn't hurt.

By the way, both kids are solidly in underwear during the day and just wear diapers when sleeping. The diaper peeking out of Soph's pants in that video has to do with not quite pristine undies after the day in child care and a doctor's appointment just before this.  With all my talk of our potty training journey, I thought I'd better explain.  Speaking of the doctor, the kids were more brave there than ever before as well!

Chances are, I know, that these positive changes could also have to do with my own increasing comfort and confidence that Michael and Sophie can handle themselves.  To me they have reached a physical size and agility that gives me the cue to step back a bit more.  It's funny to think that a lot of kids are this big at one-and-a-half or two-years-old...I wonder how that must change things. Anyway, I know Michael and Sophie feed off of my vibes for better or for worse, but it all goes hand-in-hand really.

The usual BREAKdown

At their child care center Michael and Sophie rock circle time by naming shapes and colors on flash cards, counting to twenty and back, singing the ABC's, listening to stories, and dancing and playing with their friends.  They bravely run off to play at drop-off time and are typical toddlers at pick-up, greeting me with giggles and kisses while a little reluctant to leave their school toys, snacks, and buddies. 

But bring in grandparents and Santa for the center's Christmas party, and I get two munchkins attached to my knees.  At parties and playdates with unfamiliar kids in unfamiliar places, it's the same.  Eventually they warm up, but those better social skills that time in quality child care is supposed to cultivate are non-existent for at least the first fifteen minutes.

It even takes some nudging to get the kids to brave the masses of kids at the mall play space.

I took Michael and Sophie to a gymnastics playdate with my MoMs group during my holiday break from work.  I wasn't surprised that as the kids lined up to go into the gym, Michael and Sophie got clingy, wanted "up-up-up," and didn't really participate in the guided activities on the mat. They didn't want to leave my side to go in the blow-up castle or jump on the trampoline.  The rest of the bunch as far as I could tell was fully engaged and happy.  As always, Michael and Sophie warmed up over time, but also as always, it concerned me.

A number of thoughts have been circling in my mind in a more focused search for an explanation and a solution.

a) Our family time is limited by our various schedules, so we haven't really made room for structured activities. On weekends we play catch-up, getting groceries, doing laundry, and visiting family. The rest of the time then and on weeknights is when we like to just soak up time with our kids, playing at home or on outings, primarily without unfamiliar adults or kids involved.

b) My job forces us to be early risers (5:30 or 6 AM most days), so by a mid-morning event Michael and Sophie are nearing lunch and nap time, starting their tranformation into Sleepy and Grumpy.  Same goes for events around dinner time.  That window until bedtime is small.

c)  Since we don't do any classes or playgroups like we would if I stayed home all year, Michael and Sophie just aren't used to that kind of experience.  They can follow their teachers' directions and interact with other kids at their center, but outside of that setting they freeze up.  Perhaps they're even worried that I'm about to drop them off at these places they don't know with a bunch of essential strangers.

d) Michael and Sophie are little for their age, like 5th and 10th percentile little.  They seem to get intimidated by taller, faster, bigger kids.  I noticed this even when picking them up from the gross-motor room at their center where the kids are roughly their same age but jump and climb rambunctiously while Michael and Sophie are more likely to just hop and dance. 

e) I'm more of a fine-motor and cognitive activity kind of gal with neither athletic abilities nor interests.  I taught the kids to play Memory this week, and that was a major highlight of my holiday break, I loved it so much.  Mike balances me out a bit on that one, but he too loves quality time with good book or puzzle.  The kids seem to be the same, perfectly content to color or read or build with blocks.  I aim to get the kids outside once a day for fresh air and to help with sleep, but I rarely find they have excessive energy when we miss a day.  Perhaps encouraging more active play would boost their confidence. 

About to get all competitive!

f)  I'm a paranoid mama, I know it.  Our baby registry included Angel Care Monitors and Clouds and Stars sheets to ease my fears of SIDS.  I make the kids hold my hands everywhere, and we only recently turned their car seats forward-facing.  There was even some serious soul-searching involved this week in taking the kids sledding for the first time, stifling memories of Ethan Frome and the loss of Mike's brother (car accident, not sledding).  My paranoia about Michael and Sophie's physical safety could be affecting them.

Taking all of that into account, Mike and I have talked about signing the kids up for swimming, dance, music, or gymnastics classes for the last year or so. Long story short I have now looked further into some gymnastics classes for this spring and maybe summer, and we plan to make this happen when registration opens in February.

And of course my mind does wander again to that question that will forever plague me: Would my kids be better off if I stayed home? Maybe. Dare I say probably?  Perhaps their vocabulary and social skills are stronger than they would have been.  But will they be more disruptive in elementary school?   Am I at least happier putting my degrees to work and contributing financially to our family? Would a bigger home have been the possibility that it is currently?  Will it even happen now?  Hello, last few days of a break from work--this happens every time.

The kids were scrambling around the living room last night as I vented all of this to Mike. At the words "better off," Mike's smiling are-you-f-ing-kidding-me face said it all. Our kids are fine, beyond fine. Brilliant, compassionate, hillarious, and gorgeous more like it.

 But we're going to work on this.  I know I'm probably thinking harder about this than necessary, but that's what I do.  :)