Bye-bye to Gigi

Dear Michael and Sophie,

You know how you love watching those videos of your first steps, Michael turning in circles and then finally taking step after step, and Sophie wobbling on one foot and then the next to Daddy with his hands out to catch her?  Me too.  Daddy and I had our cameras ready to roll for days knowing you were both about to do it, knowing you were about to reach a first, and we were excited about it.

Sadly, on Memorial Day 2013, you experienced a first that Daddy and I feared was coming.  You lost your first person.  On that day your Gigi died.

I regret that we didn't take dozens of pictures like this one over the last few years, not just so we would have them, but so Gigi and Papa would have had that many more snuggles with you...and you with them.  Papa better watch out, because I hope to make up for lost time.

Do you remember when we took you to visit Gigi in the hospital?  I hope you do and that it helps you to understand this loss a little bit. You saw Gigi in her bed with tubes to help her breathe, and you seemed to understand that she was very, very sick, that she couldn't talk or hug you, and that we were all very sad because she probably wasn't going to get better.  

We talked that morning about how when people live a long, long time like Gigi did, sometimes their bodies can't get better when they get very sick.  You gave Gigi pictures you drew for her, told her you loved her, and we made sure you said very clear good-bye's before we left.  Like those first steps, we knew that visit would probably be the last time to say those things, so we tried to prepare as best we could. 

Like showing you Gigi in the hospital, Daddy and I thought it was important for you to experience Gigi's funeral, to sit with family as we cried and hugged and cried some more.  We told you that Gigi had died, and that it meant her body stopped working and we wouldn't see her again.  We told you what happens at a funeral, who would be there, and that many people would cry. Gigi was Daddy and Uncle Nick's grandma, Papa's wife, and Grammie's mom, so lots of people were going to be sad.  You were ready to give and get lots of hugs because that helps everyone when we're sad.

Because Daddy and I loved Gigi so much and were so sad that she died, we wanted to be sure we didn't miss any of the funeral.  You sat right behind us with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) in case you needed to leave.  We made sure that they brought you into the church in a way that you wouldn't see Gigi's body.  We just didn't feel it was time for you to see that.  It turned out that you did just fine.  Michael did announce that he had raisins and that he wanted more raisins a couple of times, but even in those moments your innocence and cuteness seemed to help a lot of sad people that day.  I believe Gigi would have been happy that you were there with all of us.

Do you remember hearing this song at Gigi's funeral?  

One of her friends made us all cry even more by playing this and inviting us to think of Gigi dancing...with Uncle Ryan in heaven.  As time goes on we'll talk more about what people believe about heaven and certainly more about Gigi and Uncle Ryan.  There's so much more to share with you when you're ready.

What I'll tell you for now is that Daddy and I both keep thinking of Gigi's voice latley, proudly saying, "Where are my babies?" She always called out for you when she arrived for Christmas and Easter and all other family get-togethers if she knew you were there.  Whenever Gigi called us on the phone, often worried about how we were doing during bad weather or having heard about one of us being sick, one of her first questions was always "How are my babies?"  Many of Gigi's church friends told us how she always had a new picture and a story of you two to share.  In all of these ways Gigi showed us that you brought a special kind of joy to her life.  She loved you very much.

Having lost all of my grandparents over the years, I can tell you that when people love you with joy in their hearts for your whole life, that love sticks with you after they're gone.  It stays with you in your memories of them.  Daddy and I, with the help Grammie and Grandpa and Papa and Uncle Nick and Aunt Molly, we're going to do our best to tell you what we know about Gigi's life.  That way all of our knowledge and memories of her will stay with you, and her love for you can lift you up in that special I've-loved-you-forever kind of way.  In that way she'll live on.

With (lots more of that kind of) love,

Mommy

P.S.  When Gigi was young, she loved to dance...

Haircuts

Until yesterday, I've been the kids' hair stylist, trained quite poorly by Pinterest and Youtube, and operating my salon from a beach towel in the living room. The results have been consistently disappointing, but after a couple of weeks of growth I tend to think my work's not so bad and am eager to hack away again once the looks become overgrown.

While hunting for evidence of bad haircuts past, I stumbled on this gem just begging for a comic bubble.

Because Michael and Sophie will be three years old in a couple of weeks (what?!), I thought it was time to seek professional help and more sophisticated looks for my kiddos.

I was considering Cookie Cutters when I checked with some mom friends (MoM friends, actually), for some recommendations. One gave Cookie Cutters a thumbs-up, so we went for it.



The stylists were great with the kids and gave good cuts. I was a little nervous about Sophie's bangs here, but they came out pretty cute.



I did hope to keep Michael's hair a little longer, but his stylist's version of "clean up the edges while leaving some length" was different from what I envisioned. She really did what she described, and my boy looks super handsome (how could he not, though, seriously?), but it is more of a big boy look than I had intended for him. I was diggin' his Christopher Robin do. But yeah, it was probably time.



The kids were able to choose a show on demand and a vehicle. Michael went with Super Why and a blue airplane.



Sophie chose a pink car and Sophia the First. She had never seen the show, just previews, and still calls it Sophie-Uh as she does all Sophias. :)



The big slide and toy selection out front kept the kids occupied before and after their turns in the "chairs." They also got balloons and suckers (we passed on the candy--they still don't really know much about it).

I printed two coupons for $2 off from the company's website, but when I handed them over I learned that booking appointments as I had rather than walking in gets you the same deal. They also gave me a coupon book and will send email coupons as well. This time came to about $22 + tip.

We'll likely return and start a new cycle of haircut habits.

The next post will include pictures from an Easter egg hunt that show Michael and Sophie's hair pretty well. Stay tuned!

Guess what we did today!

These adorable kids...



...wore their underwear to the child care center for the first time and stayed dry all day! 

They're still wearing pull-ups for naps, but even those are occasionally dry.  We're getting there!

Preschoolers

From the perspective of a teacher, I know that finding out one of your students has a teacher for a parent can create mixed feelings.  On one hand, that parent is probably going to be very interested in what's happening in the classroom.  On the other, that parent is probably going to be very interested in what's happening in the classroom.  While I have nothing to hide and am proud of (most of) what occurs in my typical work day, scrutiny is always a little unnerving.

As a teacher-mom, I try to keep this in mind with Michael and Sophie, especially when they transition to a new room in their child care center.  It's typically a tougher adjustment for me than them.  I know that.  But with every transition the ratio increases: one teacher to three babies in the infant room, one to four toddlers in the toddler room, and now one teacher to a gazillion preschoolers.  Ok, maybe it's more like one to seven, but it looks like a lot to me right now.

Just as it happened in the toddler room, I tend to pick Sophie and Michael up at snack time, all the kids sleepily moving from nap cots to the tables and chairs, one teacher doling out sliced pears and crackers with cream cheese while the other packs up the blankets and pillows.  The snack teacher in this new room always leads a song before the kids eat, and the kids participate, eagerly singing "Open, shut them, open, shut them, put them in your lap, lap, lap" rasing their hands above their heads and wiggling their fingers, ending with a "Thank you for the snack, snack, snack."  It's all very peaceful, controlled, and fine, but the number of kids (usually around 12) still shakes me up a tad.

As a teacher-mom, I've also discovered that my comfort tends to develop after these moves when I see my kids have learned something new, something bigger than they would have in the last room.  Friday night, that comfort started growing.

 

My Movie from Shared and Doubled on Vimeo.

Please forgive the jump in the video.  Just before Michael started adding spider legs, I got the dreaded "Camcorder Full" message and had to strategically delete files without getting distracted by videos of them dancing Gangnam style or shaking their baby dolls' booties (perhaps two future posts).  Luckily Michael kept making spiders for quite a while.

Here's what a portion of the kids' classroom email said that day:

We felt like scientists today as we explored pictures of spiders and discussed the types of spiders.  Today for art we enjoyed creating mini spider wind socks using spider cut-outs, streamers, and a little glue to put it all together.  We can't wait until we see them!  During our art project we engaged our math skills as we counted the legs and eyes of a spider.  We enhanced our gross motor skills as we searched for spiders in the gross motor room!

I'm assuming those spiders in the gross motor room were toys?  Hopefully.

Anyway, I believe this was the first time one of the kids' drawings actually looked like something recognizable...on purpose.  Pretty dang cool, I have to say.

Michael and Sophie 2.5

Sophie and Michael turned two and a half this past weekend.  That milestone might have slipped by without much notice, but over the last few weeks the kids have started to seem older, bigger, more preschoolish.  Their teachers have mentioned it, both grandmas have commented, and Mike and I have exchanged a lot of "Did you just hear her?" and "Did he just do that?" looks of amusement.  The kids are even easing into a transitional preschool classroom at their child care center this week.  This moment in their growth deserved some celebration...and pictures.

 

Our plan was to go to an orchard (a tradition regardless of the 30-month mark), have cider and donuts, and pick out pumpkins.  The weather had other ideas.   We tried Saturday morning, leaving the house with sunny skies and returning minutes later as the rain started.  We attempted it again after naps, and trudged through the inevitable downpour resigning to at least enjoy a cinnamony treat.  That was actually a lovely way to spend some time on a rainy afternoon, despite leaving the pumpkin selection for another day.

 

We gave our pumpkin hunting mission a shot again on Sunday morning, heading to an orchard to the south based on the radar on the local news.  This time there was no rain, but the orchard didn't open for another hour (we got there at 10:00 A.M.).  Didn't think to Google that one. 

 

Mike and I were a little annoyed, but Sophie was downright pissed after getting in the wagon and riding up to a few orchard employees to learn the bad news. We soothed her disappointed cries of "Punkin, punkin, punkins!" as we loaded back into the minivan with the promise of "snakes" (bacon). 

 

On the way home from brunch Mike spotted a sign for a u-pick pumpkin patch.  We chose to sacrifice naptime in the name of fall fun, knowing our own little punkins were sure to sleep that possibility away on the twenty minute drive home.  And they did.

 



 

PUNKINS!

Potty Training

Whoever started that "girls are easier to potty train than boys" business is a dang liar, I tell ya.  I give you exhibit A:

This is my attempt at positive reinforcement, little posters where Michael and Sophie stick stickers everytime they use the potty.  The picture was taken half-way through day four, and you'll notice that Sophie has four stickers, and Michael has ten.  (Keep in mind, though, that the first three for both kids were earned by little trickles making it into the potty after I scooped them up mid-accident to finish in the bathroom.) 

I'm not claiming that girls are harder, or that it has anything to do with gender, really.  I believe it's just a matter of individual readiness.  Teachers are supposed to believe that, though, aren't we?  Michael has just been more ready for this challenge, which I've known for a while.

We've been taking the Potty Training in Three Days or Less approach for the most part, and I've spent the last four days in the house with the kids naked from the waist down.  (Them, not me.  I've been fully clothed.)  They wear diapers for naps and bedtime, but the rest of the time they are in t-shirts and t-shirts only.

The first day I just took them to the potty every so often to get them used to the routine.  There were a lot of accidents, as is to be expected (and is sort of necessary), and a lot of protest.  We read books, sang the ABC's, counted to ten and back on our fingers, anything to keep them seated for a few minutes every time.  I was considering throwing in the pee-soaked towel near the end of the day, but then Michael yelled "Potty!" and he and I ran-ran-ran to the bathroom where he successfully did his business with no mess at all.  That gave me the push to go on. 

The next day and the day after I set an online timer (the same one I use for timed writings at school)for whatever amount of time I thought was appropriate--every 20 minutes in the beginning, every hour or so the next day.  The kids responded really well to that.  Michael even heard my phone ding with a text message and said, "Potty time!"  I went with it.  :)

My little boy has blown me away with his quick progress.  He has peed in the potty on the schedule, has self-initiated, and he shocked the crap out of me (so to speak) by doing #2 today as well.  He even earned his Thomas the Tank Engine undies with his tenth sticker.  We might do training pants when out of the house and at the child care center, but I'm trying to play it by ear.  I'm not kidding myself that we're beyond the initial phase, but based on the results with Michael, I'd say this three day potty training thing is legit. 

Sophie hasn't had any accidents today (day four) and had only a couple yesterday.  However, she has only really gone on the potty twice. What this means is she has become an expert at holding it, so much so that it worries me.  She holds out until nap or bedtime when she is in the comfort of a diaper.  At least she's mastered that part of it.  She was pretty bummed to be denied her Minnie Mouse undies when Michael donned Thomas, but I'm hoping to cash in on a little positive peer pressure!

 

Despite that advantage, I've found myself thinking something I haven't thought very much at all since the very early days with Michael and Sophie.  Potty training has brought it to mind once again: Parenting twins can be exponentially tougher than parenting one. 

True, I haven't parented one before, but picture this scene:

Sophie has been holding it since 7:30 this morning and it is now almost 1 PM.  We're in the bathroom for one last try before naps.  We sit down, me on the toilet and the kids on potty chairs that take up 40% of the bathroom floor space. I start to read "Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!" a Dr. Seuss book not meant for potty training but with amusingly perfect content like "I don't care how, just go, go, GO!" Maybe that's just funny to people who've been locked up with potty monsters for three or four days?

We get a couple of pages in and Michael starts to go.  We go through the whole celebration--dumping the pee, rinsing the bowl, flushing the toilet, washing hands--and I promise Michael that he can pick out a sticker after Sophie goes pee, all the while keeping an eye on Sophie knowing her dam is going to burst any second. 

We sit back down and resume our book. Not a page is turned before I notice Michael trying very hard...and he does it!  Amid the poop celebrations Sophie stands and protests, insisting that we dispose of of the poop immediately.  Really she was just pointing at it and screaming, but I understood. It was a bit smelly.

While simultaneously convincing her to sit down and try again and congratulating Michael on his achievement, I help my boy dump his poo, and rinse, and the whole shebang.  But Sophie still hasn't gone, despite her pained look, and Michael has done all he can in this little bathroom and is ready to escape.  Sophie requests a diaper and I urge her to try one more time while we finish the book. I manage to get Michael to sit in my lap, and just as Marvin K. is about to finally go, so does Sophie, and she's pissed!  She's pushing her t-shirt down trying to stop the flow, crying, and getting her hands and shirt all icky. 

I set Michael aside (he climbs the toilet and plays with the sink), crouch by Sophie, and smile and encourage her to keep going, that she's doing it, she's peeing in the potty!  But she doesn't want to go anymore, even though it's just a tiny splash in the bowl.  It isn't until she's washing her hands that she says, "I did it!" with a big proud smile. 

Imagine that scene with just Michael. 

Now just Sophie. 

I wouldn't wish for that life for the world, but man, that would be SO much easier!



I replaced the kids' art display with this little learning arrangement recently.  The numbers, letters, and shape flash cars all came from the dollar store!



Summer Sleep

Since the big good-bye, Michael and Sophie haven't requested their pacies much at all.  It was just a gazillion times during that first rough naptime and a couple of times when they've been super upset about something throughout the day, which hasn't gotten them a paci since before they were one. It really only took a couple of sleeps for them to get over their precious pacies.

Around 1 PM on Tuesday, two days into paci-free life, I sent Mike a text along the lines of "Naptime has gone better than it has in weeks!" I relished in that victory...until bedtime when things went back to the same struggles we were facing long before the paci tree entered our lives.

For most of their post-newborn lives, Sophie and Michael have gone down for naps and bedtimes like champs.  Things have gotten tricky with colds and teething here and there, but we've gotten back on track, occasionally with the assitance of novelties like the Twilight Turtle and Fisher Price seahorses.  We've always had a good routine that typically ends with the kids going into their cribs drowsy but awake and silently going to sleep.  Mike and I close their door behind us feeling like champion parents with remarkable children (and have been known to high-five). That's the life.

However, since summer began, the kids' sleep has gone a bit wonky.   A number of things could have played a part.

• On vacation during that first week, the kids struggled to go down for naps and bedtimes in their Pack and Plays and needed lots of snuggles and a little crying to get to sleep. 
• They've been sleeping in (as have I...gloriously) until 7:00, 7:30, or even 8:00 a.m instead of waking at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. as Mike and I both get ready for work during the school year. 
• While I've tried to stay respectful of naps and schedule our summer days around them, often the kids fall asleep mid-morning while running errands in the car.  Because of this and waking up later than normal, their regular naps have ended up later, shorter, or completely out the window.
• Mike and I have tried to find a balance between flexibility and consistency with bedtimes this summer, all things above considered.  Sometimes we start the routine at 6:30 p.m. like during the school year, but pushing it to 7:00, 7:30, or even 8:00 p.m. has seemed appropriate at times. 
• Even with those adjustments (or perhaps because of them) we've given in to a lot of rocking for Sophie and an extra sippy of milk in the living room for Michael when they just don't go the f*** to sleep.

You can see why, with things already pretty goofy, we figured we might as well throw some paci-withdrawal into the mix.
Pleasantly, a couple of nights ago after rocking her for a couple of minutes, Sophie willingly went into her crib when I offered her the small pillow that I made for the rocking chair. She slept beautifully. Last night was the same.

On those same nights, Michael came back out to the living room with me (Sophie hasn't seemed to mind), snuggled with me for half an hour,  declared "All done!" and happlily let me put him back in his crib. He slept great as well.

If this is how the next couple of weeks have to go, I'll take it!  I'm hopeful that once school starts back up again and the kids and I are up at a ridulously early more consistent time each day, things will fall back into place that much more.

One incredibly notable point is that not once in over a week have we had to go into the kids' room in the middle of the night to hunt for a dropped paci by the light of a Twilight Turtle.  After doing that for almost 2.5 years, Mike and I are up for a few new sleep challenges here and there.

Bye-bye, Pacies - Day 1

For the last week I've been hyping it up.

Me: Michael, Sophie, where are we going to put your pacies on Sunday?

Sophie: In a tree!

Michael: A park!  Way up high!

Me: Yes!  And after we put your pacies in the tree, what will you say?

Sophie and Michael: Bye-bye, paci!

Me:  And after we put your pacies way up high in the tree, will you have your pacies for naptime?

This part got blank stares for several days, but eventually after some brainwashing practice...

Michael and Sophie: No, no more paci.  Bye-bye, paci!

The tree is one in a local park where many little ones have hung their pacifiers to say a final good-bye.  After weighing the many options, that's the way we decided to take this step as well.

Here's how it went.

Then we went home, the kids went down for their naps peacefully, and we never thought about those things again.

Riiiiiiight.  Wouldn't that be nice?

If this had gone down without difficult naps and bedtimes, I would have been shocked.  But that's why we chose now as the time to do this.  Bedtimes have been a little rocky lately, and we figured if we're trying to get over a rough patch anyway, why not add in this complication now instead of upsetting bedtimes later on when we have them smoothed out.

What actually happened when we got home today was I snuck into the kids' room while Mike got them started on lunch, and I put two new sock monkeys in a dresser drawer.  That's where we had been storing their two pacifiers since they became "just for bedtime" long, long ago.  Going to that drawer before and after every sleep had become a pleasant ritual--Michael and Sophie putting them away in the morning and after nap (sometimes requesting one or two more minutes like you heard Michael do in the video) and getting them out again at the beginning of the bedtime routine.  I felt the drawer had to be part of this transition.

 

Kohl's Cares Sock Monkeys

When Sophie and Michael finished lunch I told them there was a surprise in their room, that there were no more pacies in the drawer because they were in the tree, but there was something else.  When I opened their bedroom door and they saw the monkeys peeking out at them, Michael giggled and they both grabbed and snuggled the animals right away.  I showed them that there were in fact no pacifiers in that drawer anymore (they were cool with that), we did diapers and put on sleep sacks (not giving those up until out of cribs), turned on the sound machine and the Twilight Turtle, put the kids in their cribs, covered them with their blankets...and the fun began.

They cried.  And cried, a sad, grieving, lip-quivering cry, eventually calling for their pacies.  At one point they both tossed those sock monkeys out of their cribs simultaneously, saying "Eff these, Mama.  Go back to that tree and get those damn pacifiers!"  They said that with their eyes, anyway. 

I felt it was best if I tackled this on my own for consistency's sake, so Mike ran some errands with my blessing. Trying my best to stay strong, I gave Sophie and Michael some kisses, offered to cover them with their blankies, rocked them both a little, left the room, let them cry for a bit, went back, gave kisses.  This went on for about 45 minutes.

Hoping I wasn't trading one baby bedtime habit for another, for the first time ever (aside from rare occasions of painful teething or sickness), I rocked Sophie and then Michael until each was totally out.  No eyes fluttering open as I stood up.  Not just to the "drowsy but awake" state I've always committed to in order to promote self-soothing.  I held them, snuggled the crap out of my heart-broken kiddos, and helped them doze all the way to a paci-free dreamland.

That's probably better than just going out to the stash in the kitchen that the kids don't know about and grabbing another pair of pacifiers.  Probably.  Only time will tell. 

But eventually for that nap my little ones were asleep, calm and comfortable.  After seeing stress and sadness on their faces for over an hour, that was all that mattered to this mama.  That and no longer hearing the sound of plastic-pacifier-hitting-hardwood-floor in the middle of the night, knowing a cry is soon to follow.  We're aiming for both, and we'll get there. 

Sophie warmed up to her sock monkey this afternoon and wanted to take it with her everywhere--everywhere, that is, except for bed.  She knows it's here because her paci is not, and she's made it clear by refusing him crib priveledges that she's not thrilled with the trade.  Still, bedtime tonight went better than naptime (hardly any rocking or calling for pacies), but we're still in the thick of it.

Then we're onto potty training.

Ah, the joys of toddlerhood.

Big Kids

It seems to be about once an hour that I'm taken aback by the little kids that Michael and Sophie are becoming. I'm not sure if it's because I've spent so much more concentrated time with them that I'm seeing it or if they really have been developing rapidly over the last couple of weeks. Maybe a little of both? They follow multi-step directions, engage in conversations with sentences and joking, gestures and expressions. It stirs and amazes me to see my little buddies emerging more and more into themselves.

Getting dressed Tuesday morning the two of them put their own pants on with minimal assistance, got up on their tippy-toes to close the bedroom door again and again, and for the first time Sophie opened it back up herself. Sophie also allowed me to put pigtails in her hair ("two ponies"). With minor distractions in the few minutes after when she likes to pull out all barrettes/bows/bands, she even left them in. They both walked out the door with me when it was time, stayed by me on the deck like I told them while I locked up, held my hands down the stairs, and climbed into the van and into their carseats themselves. All of those behaviors are relatively new for my big kids.

These pictures were taken the next day at a 4th of July parade.  It turns out if you follow the first rule of pigtails, which is the same as that of Fight Club, Sophie will leave them alone.  Don't even say they're cute.

Michael's thing this summer is to wear his Detroit Tigers hat allllllll the time.

That Tuesday morning we went to a weekly concert series for kids in a local downtown. We did this last summer with my then newly-walking toddlers loaded into and out of our big ol' stroller to get into and out of the event. Tuesday I decided to leave the stroller in the van.

Leaving the stroller behind feels like a big gamble with little twins. What if they both melt down or try to run off? I can't scoop them both up and cart them off to the car, at least not easily and without an obnoxious scene.  Over the last few months the kids have done really well at drop-off and pick-up from the child care center and on short shopping trips without the stroller. They hold my hands in parking lots, stay right by my side as I secure their sibling in a carseat, and listen to me right away when they need reminders. The more I see they can do it it, the more I am willing to give it a go again next time. I've found it works best if I tell the kids what we'll be doing each step of the way and what's expected of them, and I load the diaper bag with lots of snacks. When all else fails, "Let's go to the car and eat crackers!" is my escape plan.

As we sat listening to the entertainment warm up that morning, a black storm cloud rolled in, and the band and crowd packed up and relocated to a local restaurant with a small theater space. Sophie and Michael rolled with it, groaning only for a moment when I had to stow their snacks in my bag for the journey, but even that protest was minimal. They ran, ran, ran holding my hands and giggling as the sprinkling started and waited patiently at the restaurant as the rain location got situated.

During that wait we we ran into one of Michael and Sophie's infant caregivers who is now a nanny for a local family.  She had those girls with her for the concert. Ms. Kim recognized us right away, told her girls who Sophie and Michael were to her, that she used to be their teacher. It was funny that the kids she nannies for didn't totally get what her job was, that she's working when she's with them, that taking care of kids and babies is what she does. : ) Sophie and Michael both nodded shyly when I asked if they remembered Ms. Kim, and it seemed like they were trying to process it all. They spent a lot of time with her as babies, but who knows how those memories surface in their little toddler minds after over a year has passed.  Later I noticed Sophie turning to look behind us at Ms. Kim whenever she spoke to her girls. I'm pretty sure, if nothing else, her voice struck something in Sophie's memory.

Watching Michael and Sophie during the music really showed me they are far from the babies they were in the infant room, Sophie especially. Michael didn't like the theater style seats that threatened to eat him up, so he sat on my lap. Sophie, on the other hand, looked like a preschooler, partly due to those pigtails, as she sat in the seat next to me the whole time, fully engaged in the show. The group sang oldies for the most part, cleverly incorporating puppets. They had a little Elmo sing the falsetto "laaaaaa-la-la-la-la-la" parts of "Crocodile Rock" and an owl for the "hooooo" in "I Saw Her Standing There." Michael loved the puppets, and Sophie participated in all the songs like "If You're Happy and You Know It" more excitedly than I've ever seen her do before.

Because the rain delayed the show a bit, it ran late. As it started encroaching on lunch time, Michael got a little antsy and complained that the music was too loud. He's been saying that a lot since he learned the phrase after the fire trucks scared him at the Memorial Day parade. What he's really saying, even if he doesn't know it yet, is that he's getting tired and/or hungry and therefore a bit grumpy. I tend to grumpily tell Mike to turn the TV down when it's getting close to my bedtime...it's hereditary. When the music became "ooo loud," I asked both kids if they were ready to hold my hands and go home in the van, and thankfully Sophie was also in agreement.

It wasn't until we were back home, lunch was done, and both kids were down for their naps that I remembered proudly that we did that all without the safety net of a stroller. It hadn't occured to me once after making the decision to leave it in the van.  Perhaps next week the morning won't fill me with as much confidence, and we'll roll into the concert in City Mini style, but I'm hopeful that more and more successful big kid style outings are in our future.

The Third Summer

The first summer was an extension of my maternity leave, an ongoing cycle of eating, playing, and sleeping that now leaves me remembering that time primarily as a joyous hibernation.  I started this blog that summer to help me take it all in.

Last summer we had one-year-old walkers.  With official toddlers on our hands, we played outside more, became brave enough to vacation, and worked to transition out of breastfeeding and down to one nap. 

When they return to their child care center in late August, Michael and Sophie will likely go into a transitional (gulp) preschool classroom. Seriously, that made me take a deep breath.  As they continue to grow from toddlers to little kids, there are a couple changes that we will embark upon in the remaining eight weeks or so of this third summer: potty training and ditching the pacifiers. 

I know it's getting way past time to have tossed the paci's already (they're two--26 months old), but since the kids only use them for sleeping, it just hasn't seemed worth the trouble of upsetting bedtimes just to meet some expectation of what is "normal."  Still, I do have the goal of getting rid of those suckers (pun sort of intended) before late August.

As far as the potty issue, we have two matching potty seats that the kids have sat on a few times without diapers but that are mostly stacked, unstacked, and stood on when Micheal and Sophie come to the bathroom with me.  We also have a toilet seat with a little one on the inside on the real toilet.  Michael has sat happily on there as well, but Sophie is not a fan.  Throw in the collapsable step stools (love those) that we currently use for brusha-brusha time, and we're...almost prepared.  We need some training pants, eventually big-boy and big-girl undies that I plan to have Michael and Sophie pick out, and maybe a chart and stickers.  But even once we have all the stuff, are we all reeeeeally ready?

Based on this article from the Mayo Clinic, Michael and Sophie are pretty much there.  However, I have yet to have seen a dry diaper in the morning, and there have been a few poopy ones recently.  I feel like I should wait for that before I give this a real go.

I'm also not certain of my method.  Will we just go to training pants and set a timer for every thirty minutes?  I've heard one mom say calling the timer the "potty fairy" worked pretty well since then it's not just mommy saying it's time to put down the toys and sit on the potty...again.  Maybe we should do that 3-day naked weekend potty training thing?

I don't know.  I do want to start this summer since I'm home with the kids, and playing outside makes accidents less of a thing, but obviously I still have some homework to do.

If you have any advice, as always, feel free to share!

"I made my family disappear."

Call me Kevin McAllister because I am home....ALONE!

I have today and Monday off for Memorial Day weekend, and I debated my options right up until Mike left for work twenty minutes ago.  Obviously, I decided to do it, to stay home today without my kids.

I've had this kind of opportunity before, two years worth of holiday breaks and summer vacations and personal days when I could have sent the kids to the child care center while I did whatever on my own, but I've never done it.  I spend all school year longing for whole days with my kids, the joys and stresses of meals and snacks and naps and play time, and I cherish the extended times that I get with them.  Spending a day without Michael and Sophie by choice has never sounded good enough to make it happen.

But with three days after this to spend completely with Michael and Sophie and a whole summer coming up in just a few weeks (a whole summer with two two-year-olds to entertain), taking today to get some little projects done ultimately felt like a grand opportunity.

Once I finish this second cup of peacefully consumed coffee, I will attempt to tackle those tasks like organizing the kitchen junk drawer and getting a head start on this week's laundry.  I'll be glad to have  chipped away at the to-do list before the kids, Mike, and I start our long weekend together this afternoon!

2nd Birthday Celebration

Mike and I decided to keep the kids' 2nd birthday celebration pretty simple: invite our family out to Sunday brunch and then go to a nearby park where the kids could ride their "new" tricycles for the first time.  (We bought the tricycles used at a mom-to-mom sale last fall.)

Even though the plan was small, I ordered a handful of photo invitations and had a rough theme of "colors" in mind.  Michael and Sophie have become big fans of crayons and love identifying colors.  They're pretty right-on most of the time, but we occasionally still get a completely original name like an enthusiastic "Blarbla!" for red.  I adore their attempts at "lello,"geeeen," and "boo" and not-so-secretly hope they hold onto those mispronunciations for quite a while. 

These are the beautiful Jello cupcakes I made for the occasion. 

Ok, "beautiful" might be a stretch, but they are far more attractive than my attempt at this adorable crayon cake.  I had seen some pictures of some not-so-successfully executed versions, so I tried to prepare for the worst.  I looked up cake decorating tips, bought some green sugar sheets to ensure crisp edges for those parts, and had lots of extra frosting on hand.  

Thankfully I also mentally filed away the Jello cake idea after eating some at a recent staff meeting.  It called to mind the yellowed image from a magazine of a Christmas layer cake with green and red drips that I had seen countless times in my mom's recipe book.  If I failed at the crayon idea, I could pull the color theme in that way. I also picked up a cupcake decorations package at TJ Maxx on a whim; their similarity to the invitations caught my eye.  If I failed at the crayon idea...

Perhaps it was all that worst case scenario business going on in my head that kept me from simply getting a solid layer of yellow frosting on that chocolate cake.  I've never had an issue with crumbs before, but they plagued me that Saturday afternoon.  The ice cream cone crayons looked fantastic, but the whole shebang just wouldn't come together. 

(Last year I made a ducky! I impressed the heck out of myself with that one and am shamelessly showing it off again here. Crayons, you can kiss my rubber duck.)

As I tossed my sad crayon box into the garbage--yes, I'm wasteful--I tried to embrace the new theme that was emerging for this event, something along the lines of "let it go and just enjoy your kids."

The brunch didn't follow that new theme entirely; all went smoothly and we enjoyed the heck out the kids' excitement.  They were thrilled with the restaurant's trains, one going on a track around the room and one real one that passed by the window.

However, fitting with the new theme, the park and cake festivities this year ended up looking like this:

Notice Sophie's hair blowing to the side and her lip mid-quiver. She burst into tears as we sang "Happy Birthday." Sentimental, I guess, or half-frozen. 

Only days before, it was nearly 80 degrees in the area, and it was supposed to get up to 60 that day.  Eventually it did, but at 11 a.m. the biting wind wouldn't even let us light those 2's.  Full from brunch and too cold to bother, very few cupcakes were touched.  (They made fantastic after school snacks for me later in the week.) "Let it go..."

Sadly that wind did nothing for the balloons that lost their bouancy overnight in our basement.  Our gathering was on a Sunday morning, so I thought ahead and got the balloons on Saturday when the party supply store was certain to be open.  When Mike brought the tricycles up on their way out to our van that morning, the balloons' droopiness fit perfectly with the newly developing theme.  "Let it go..."  They had been soaring a few feet above the tricycles.  We just tightened the strings and trudged on.

 

Insert photo here of my mom and me fighting those balloon strings off so the kids could take their first ride.  I had looped them on pretty simply, but the wind did some tangling.  "Let it go..."

At this point the wind started to let up, and Michael and Sophie took their new trikes (and their grandparents) for a spin!

 

The dress Sophie wore that day was one my grandmother made for me, and the little kitchen pictured behind the tricycles was a DIY project that Mike and I completed.  Those are details I'll save for future posts.

My two are two!

Here's a little glimpse into the second year of Michael and Sophie's life.

 

Here's last year's video.

Two Year Photos

I decided to try my hand at taking some portraits of Michael and Sophie yesterday.  I've been slowly but surely working my way out of my camera's auto setting (for the last 2+ years), and while these photos are far from perfect, I'm pleased with my progress.

Sophie is wearing my old sailor dress.  Insert a Sears Portrait Studio background circa 1980 behind her here and she could be me.

Michael has turned into your typical almost two-year-old boy.  He points out every truck, bus, car, and train that he sees and loved the Thomas set at the Henry Ford Museum.  Sophie's a fan as well.

Am I wrong, or could she be on her way back to the Oval Office?

"Sophie, cover me."

"Already on it, buddy."

"...alllll through the town!"

These two stick their tongues out a lot!

Away

It was time.

We made the reservations, booked Mike's mom as a sitter, gave kisses good-bye, and (cue the fireworks) spent my first night away from Sophie and Michael.

Mike has been on numberous overnight trips for work since April 2010, but every day of Michael and Sophie's lives has ended with me settling them into their cribs and has begun again with me lifting them back out, nuzzling their sleepy necks.  That is, until recently.

My first night away was essentially a 12-hour vacation in downtown Detroit.  While to some that might sound less than appealing, take a look at where we had drinks, ate dinner, and crashed.  There were a lot of options, but we went with some classics.

Mike and I ate at the Whitney a number of years ago when we paid off $20k in credit card debt--an accumulation of wedding, honeymoon, and new home expenses, along with some general foolishness.  After one tough year on a crazy tight budget, I'm not sure what had been better that night:  the duck confit, the bottle of Syrah, or paying with cash responsibly saved for the occasion.  Mike and I looked forward to going back these years later.

About half-way through my first night away I joked with Mike that married couples aren't supposed to talk about work or the kids when out on dates.  He joked back, "How about that Prince Fielder?"  He and the taxi driver had bantered back and forth on that topic during the ride to the restaurant. 

The reality is our primary common interests are 22-months-old and inspire lively conversations.  Why mess with that?  It also wasn't so bad talking about work or whatever else without our common interests needing our direct attention for an entire evening.

I woke up at the usual time the next morning, a sleepy 5:15.  I had a headache from the couple glasses of wine and a desire not to miss much of the day with the kids.  We went home, took the kids out to brunch, and settled in for another busy week.

Our first tummy bug

This morning Sophie and Michael drank whole sippy-cups of milk, ate all of their Cheerios and bananas, and have been running and giggling away from me as I try to "gitch-ya, gitch-ya, gitch-ya."

This was not the case for the last four days.

On Tuesday the kids returned to their center after more than two weeks at home for the holidays.  Before the end of the day, I had gotten the center's "your child's health is important to us" email informing families that there was a case of conjunctivitis/pink-eye in the toddler room.

That night as we got the kids ready for bed, I noticed goo in Sophie's eyelashes and that her eye was a tad pink. Mike and I compared our schedules for the next day, and he planned to take time off.

In the morning, Sophie's eye looked fine.  Mike took the kids to the center, told the teachers we were concerned and to call him to come get her if necessary, but there was no call.  When I picked the kids up, I breathed a sigh of relief as the teachers said Sophie's eye did look a little pink but not to worry about it. 

What I did worry about was how slowly she climbed out of her chair at the snack table, how much of the snack was still there, and how she didn't smile when she gave me a hug.

As I got Sophie out of her car seat at home, she looked sleepy.  "Do you want to go in the house and snuggle with Mama?"

"Yeaaaah."  She dropped her head on my shoulder immediately as I lifted her out.  Inside she didn't want to say hi to the kitty, she didn't want to find toys in the playroom, she just wanted to take me up on my offer and cuddle on the couch. Luckily, Michael was happy to play on his own.

Sophie requested milk.  Moments later she was vomitting on the living room rug, and then again, and then again.  She didn't eat any dinner (as expected but very unlike her), and we skipped the storytime milk for her, having seen that her stomach turned it into cottage cheese earlier on.  Michael followed his usual routine. 

Since Sophie didn't have a fever, we chose to just wait this out, planning to call the doctor in the morning to be sure that was best and then the center to let them know what was up.  It was my mom's day to watch the kids, but we thought they should know one of their kids had a bug.

In the middle of the night, Michael let out a frightened cry.  Mike went in to check on him and called to me that Michael was puking.  The rest of the night is a blur of changing crib sheet after crib sheet including one of Sophie's, snuggling with Michael in the rocker, rushing him to the bathroom sink, Mike sleeping with Michael on the living room couch, helping Mike change a couple dirty t-shirts, a pile of stinky laundry growing in the hallway, and gagging a couple times at the sour milk smell.

Side note: Not long ago I was questioning whether we should have bought our Clouds and Stars zipper sheets rather than the less expensive elastic kind.  They were super helpful in the early days,  and this experience made me a believer once again.  Potty-training probably will too.

After our whirlwind night, I called my mom at 6:30 a.m. to suggest she bring a change of clothes like she did in the early spit-up days.

Both kids were sick again that day, and Michael threw up as soon as I took him out of his crib on Friday morning, so Mike stayed with them that day.

Saturday there was no more vomit (my mom was not so lucky--the bug got her), but both kids were still pretty lethargic with bursts of energy here and there.

Like I said, today they are milk-drinking, breakfast-eating, mommy-energy-draining giggle machines.

After their ear infection/coughing illness last month that turned into pneumonia for Sophie, this stomach bug (which the doctor's office said is going around) has me missing those breatmilk antibodies that seemed to keep the kids much healthier last year. 

I'm also starting to miss how breastfeeding kept the holidays off my waistline.  However, the "gitch-ya, gitch-ya" work-out routine should do some good.

1/16/11 Edited to add: The bug has reached my husband's stomach, and mine feels like there's a rock in it.  I'm hoping my wish to reduce my waistline is not granted with that particular solution!

Watch your language

I believe we're on the brink of having two little language sponges on our hands.

Following directions is like a game right now.  Overnight it seemed that saying, "Sophie, bring me your pants, please," or "Michael, let's read Going on a Bear Hunt," actually started making them stand up and go get stuff, and the specific stuff I mention.  Sometimes the kids will be playing in their bedroom, starting to get into drawers or climb on the ottoman, and I'll say, "Come on, let's go out the door," to stop the mischeif, and they do it happily.  I suspect this will change once they're two or three, but for now I'm marvelling at their intelligence and cooperation.

As far as actually speaking, they've been saying "kitty," mama," dada" and "hi" for a while. Now both are saying "more," ball," yeah," bye," and will repeat back sounds like "moo" and "vroom-vroom."  They also enjoy mimicing intonations and melody, something Sophie seemed to do even as a newborn.

So I guess we better take a tip from Up All Night and cool it on the cussing.

Hello Good-bye

When I returned to work last month after our second summer together, the kids went through an emotional phase.  Sophie would snuggle and follow me around in the morning, tears flowing as soon as my purse appeared.  For weeks they both kept a close eye on Mike and me when out of the house together, sounding the alarm if one of us strayed too far or out of view.  But now that the routine is re-established, the tears are rare and usually alleviated in the morning by asking the two of them to wave good-bye out the window. 

With so many greetings and departures over the last few weeks, Michael has also developed a sincere and heartwarming "bye-bye."  He likes to say it and wave at the ends of books and before naps and bedtime.  Sometimes he pokes his foot out of his sleep sack as I'm zipping it up and waves with his toes while he says it.

With construction on my work commutes, non-stop technology problems at work, and added pressure and responsibilities for teachers in general, returning to work has been less than smooth this year.  But I'm feeling more at ease now, and Sophie and Michael clearly are as well--it's surely a reciprocal kind of thing. 

Off we go to another school year!

Time to drop the morning nap?

When I return to my classroom in the fall, Sophie and Michael will return to their child care center.  They will be in the toddler room where there is only one nap, so at some point this summer I plan to drop the morning one.  I've just been waiting for some signs from them that it's time.

Both Michael and Sophie go down great for their two naps.  When one or both of them start getting sleepy at around 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., I turn on their sound machine, change their diapers, put on their sleep sacks, and lay them in their cribs.  They stare up calmly as I leave the room and silently sleep for at least an hour and a half for both the morning and afternoon naps. 

Lately, however, Michael has been waking up in the middle of his afternoon nap, and Sophie has been struggling with going to sleep at night.  I think what's happening is a sort of domino effect.  They typically sleep for two hours in the morning.  I'm thinking this makes Michael wake up early in the afternoon, cuts Sophie's afternoon sleep short as a result, and leads her to be overtired by bedtime (already pretty early at 6 p.m.). 

I'm planning to shorten the morning nap to one hour tomorrow to see if that helps Michael sleep better in the afternoon and Sophie go down at night.  Perhaps this will also get them to sleep later in the morning.  Michael has not gotten the message that we don't have to get up at 5:30 a.m. during the summer.  Wish us luck!

If you're another parent looking for sleep advice, I've found this blog pretty helpful.  It's based on On Becoming Babywise, the book that details the eat-play-sleep approach.  I also like Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child which puts a lot of emphasis on daytime sleep impacting nighttime sleep and supports letting babies cry at night to encourage self-soothing.  When Michael and Sophie are both healthy and not teething, we've put that philosophy to work with great results.