To friendship...

Whenever I got nervous about giving my toast at my friend Kelsey's wedding (the purpose for our recent trip to AZ), I reminded myself that it was truth, that it was what rang in my heart when I thought of this moment in my friend's life. I worried that it wasn't funny enough, that it didn't give enough detail, but ultimately Kelsey was touched.  Because of that and the handful of solid compliments that night, I feel inclined to share it here.  It didn't come out exactly like this, but I was pretty close.  I started by introducing myself and then...

I’ve had the privilege of being Kelsey’s friend for a very long time.  In fact, our friendship that began in elementary school will reach its 25th anniversary this fall. 

I’m honored today to have been a part of this beautiful celebration of Kelsey and Anthony’s marriage. 

Almost seven years ago I got married, and one of my favorite photographs from that day is of Kelsey, an hour or so before the ceremony, pen and paper in hand, putting the final touches on her toast. 

What makes me love that picture is the fact that I can actually see Kelsey’s writing in it, that familiar print that I see these days on birthday cards and in the covers of picture books she sends to my kids but that always reminds me of our note-passing days, of yearbook pages detailing our teenage heartbreaks and the inside jokes that sent us into belly laughs that particular year.  I believe it was in those days that we really solidified this lifelong friendship. (I believe this is where I started sounding pretty choked up, but I rallied on!)

With Kelsey’s wedding day approaching, as I became more and more excited for her, I realized there’s a part of me that longs to write a note, to fold it up, write Kelsey’s name on it, and pass it to that sixteen-year-old version of her at her locker.  If I could do that, I wouldn’t spoil all the fun of life’s surprises, but there are a couple of things I would say.

The first is this. As pretty as you are in your teens (although you don’t seem to know it), you become even lovelier over the years.  While the rest of us are starting to show our wear, in your thirties you look more gorgeous than ever, particularly on April 28, 2013.  You’ll see what I mean. (That part got a big woot-woot.  She really did look amazing!)

The second and more important thing I would tell that sixteen-year-old Kelsey is to keep listening to your gut, to that instinct of yours that drives you to do your own thing, to paint your bedroom walls a bold green and to later dye your hair a similar shade.  While your sense of direction will occasionally make us all wonder where exactly you’re heading over the years, things work out as they should.  The right paths will cross when it’s time, and the adventure will continue.

To this Kelsey, and to Anthony, I wish you many years of belly laughs, inside-jokes, a strong partnership for the ups and downs to come, and a lifetime of treasured memories between each of your many anniversaries.

To Kelsey and Anthony...

Reflecting back this week on that whirlwind weekend, I now find myself hoping that I can guide Michael and Sophie to value their friendships, to let them grow and change as they do, and to be witnesses (perhaps even on paper) for the many chapters in their friends' life stories.  

I'm hopeful they will be that for each other as well.

I'm also hopeful that Mike and I can start making more kid-free vacation plans!