4th Birthday Party

We weren't planning to throw birthday parties for Michael and Sophie with friends every year, but their enthusiasm for others' parties lately made me want to give them another of their own this year.  I'm thinking we'll take it on a year-by-year basis.  Maybe next year we'll do something just as a family.  Maybe not.

The Party Plan

I considered the typical locations and really liked the idea of a paint-your-own pottery kind of place.  However, the cost for such parties is pretty steep, and you can only invite a handful of friends before the price goes up even more.  With two kids' friends to include and twin friends among them, a limited guest list can get tricky.

I found myself staring at our gloriously empty living room, envisioning:

We rented a couple of kids' tables and 18 chairs from a party rental business ($48), bought a bunch of supplies from Oriental Trading and Dollar Tree (roughly $200 for games, decorations, crafts and so on), and got lesson party planning.

The general theme was spring, so I bought some bug activity books.  Those were intended to keep kids busy as we waited for everyone to arrive, but most kids went right for the playroom instead.  The books were cute enough as table decorations and favors.

The main craft was painting flower pots for spring flowers or herbs (bought seeds for favors at the dollar store).  At the tables we had the pots, sponge stamp brushes, and bug stamps.  I asked Michael and Sophie's grandmas to give out squirts of two or three colors to each kid on paper plates.  I gave a few ideas to the kids, but tried not to get too teacher-y and let them just have at it.

I did get some photos of the kids getting all crafty, but we'll keep those just for us.  I loved seeing the guests get into it and make some masterpieces (Michael and Sophie's are below)!

Above is my supply table with paint, extra pots, baby wipes, smocks, game supplies in bins, and prizes and favors in baskets.

Some Decorations and Details

Our record wall is up again in our dining room and I added photos of the kids and the wooden four.

I made the photos with a combination of Photoshop (to black out the background--these were from our family Christmas photos) and the photo editor site Picmonkey to add the borders and bugs.

My mom made the cupcakes, just like the pink and blue ones she made for the baby shower four years ago but all green this time.

I made the pinwheels using a tutorial like this with a little adaptation.

Instead of using pins, which just didn't sound wise for kids' snacks, I used sturdier and easier to see metal brads.  I punched five holes in the paper for the brads to easily slide through.

The ends of the brads wrapped snugly around the sticks (for candy making).

I went with the theme and chose one-sided bug scrapbook paper rather than the not-quite-right patterns on two-sided paper.  Two-sided would have been pretty cute, though. 

Games

The kids played three games.  The bee and flower beanbag toss game is from Oriental Trading, a bit of a splurge ($15), but it can be played with long after the party.  

For Pin the Tail on the Bunny, I made two rabbits by tracing two mixing bowls, connecting them and drawing ears.  I let the Michael and Sophie at them with their finger paints and patterned roller brushes, then cut out the bunnies, glued them to another poster board and had them laminated.  The kids at the party stuck the dollar store pom poms on with the that gummy stuff for hanging posters.

We played these games after painting the pots while we switched the tables into cake and ice cream mode (changed the tablecloths, mainly).

After cake and presents we played the third game, the party event Michael looked forward to the most.  We bought a bunch of plastic bugs from the dollar store and hid them around the backyard for a bug hunt.  I gave each kid a paper cup and sent them running to rid our backyard of the spring pests.  It was a good ending to the party as it gave the all kids time afterward to play on the play set and enjoy the gorgeous spring day.  

The families took home painted pots, Annie's Cheddar Bunnies, and seeds (forgot to keep track of those bug activity books to send home--woops!).

Thank you to everyone who came and celebrated with us!  You helped make some great memories for these four-year-old's.

4/14/14

This is probably the coolest date in 2014, don't you think?

It also happens to be Michael and Sophie's fourth birthday.  Four on 4/14/14.  Pretty cool, huh?

You know what's also pretty cool?  Big Wheels.





They were a gift from Mike's parents and were a big hit yesterday, a gorgeous spring day.  The weather was ideal over the weekend.





Like this first Big Wheel ride, there are a lot of details that should make this birthday a memorable one for these two.  I'll surely post more in the coming days about the new (to us) backyard play set and the party we had at home with friends.

As we look toward a fun-filled future (or at the duck Uncle Joe spotted on the roof of the house across the street)....





I hope Sophie and Michael's memories of these celebrations bring smiles to their faces for years to come.  They will certainly do that for me.

To the moon and back, buds.  Have a happy, happy, happy, happy 4th birthday!

Sharing My Birth Daughter With My Twins - My Messy, Beautiful

While I knew I had made a mess of my life, the news was too much to feel even upon hearing it from a medical professional.  Doofus boyfriend and a few pals beside me, pamphlets on adoption, abortion, and parenting now in my hands, the full weight of being pregnant at fifteen would not settle upon me.

The messy truth became less avoidable a few days later when I heard my mom open the letter I had taped to her bathroom mirror at the other end of the house.  At the sound of her pained "Oh, no...," the air shifted.

But it was really that night when I finally let the mess envelop me.  The day had been predictably tense and had fallen away, my wish to have an abortion established, plans to see a doctor and to at least look into adoption agreed upon, the full scope of my predicament still only hovering through dinnertime and into the evening when all had gone quiet.

I sat in the living room late with the hum of summer bugs outside open windows, my sophomore year of high school nearing, the rest of my family off in their own rooms, my mess cracking open.

The sobs heaved my chest, and my head pounded with tears as I finally took in the disappointment and uncertainty, the inertia, the trajectory, the impossibility of ever going back to some other reality.  I was getting to know my mess and my place in it, and I was taking a beating from within.

As if I were a little girl shaken by a nightmare, my mom found her own place in the mess.  I don't remember the words she said.  They didn't matter as much as her leaving her bed and just coming to me, hearing me and joining me on the couch, knowing it was time to love me through this.

With that support in the coming days, I was able to envision not just enduring, not just surviving.  Ultimately I felt a peace come over me when I imagined an open adoption, a new direction for my own life and hope for some others.

Sixteen years after that moment of peace, I found myself on the phone with my mom, crying again about uncertainty, a new reality, and needing some support as I imagined yet another new direction, one that included not one baby on the way...but two.

Michael and Sophie don't know these stories yet, of course, or the countless others that have unfolded over the last twenty years since my birth daughter was born.  They remember a few breakfasts with some family friends, but visits with my birth daughter have become fewer as her young adult life (a college sophomore) has become fuller.

Being a presence in my birth daughter's life has been beyond a pleasure, but making an open adoption plan, showing up for events, and requesting visits has always been driven not just by my love for her but by a desire to keep the truth near her and approachable, to spare her the experience of learning The Big Story one day.  The truth would just be in her.

I want to spare Sophie and Michael the same.  They turn four next week, and I have committed myself to starting some preschool-appropriate conversations with them in this new year of their lives.  (I am open to advice on this, by the way.  If anyone reading this has tips, please share!)

Over the coming months I intend to bring out pictures, to be open to Michael and Sophie's questions, to begin easing them into this aspect of their mother, of their family.  I am not certain how far these conversations will go, but I know it's time to nudge that door open a bit.

Beyond sharing my truth, our truth, is a bigger point.  When the days come when I am by Sophie and Michael's sides, loving them through their messes, I want them to believe me.  I'll tell them that within every mess is a greater beauty than they can imagine.  That truth will be in them as well.

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!

Where should we put the play structure?

Our yard isn't huge.  We have great views of trees and expansive yards and common areas around us, and it all feels pretty private, but the fact is our property itself is on the conservative side.

We recently decided to get a play structure for the kids' 4th birthday present.  One of our favorite parks is a five minute drive away, but there are no parks within walking distance.  To make the most of our home, we are going for it.

After discovering that new ones of good size and quality run upwards of $3000, and knowing that having Mike build one would likely cut into a lot of spring and summer play time (that was a nice way of putting it, wasn't it?), I started hitting Craigslist.  We were thrilled to find a good deal on this guy and got ball rolling last weekend:



Mike took a look and gave a deposit, and he will be going out to take it down and bring it home in pieces this weekend.  The next step is the one that's causing me to stare out windows and wander our yard quite a bit.  Where should we put it?



This area above is what we consider the convenient one.  It's the flattest part of our yard, so leveling will be minimal.  It's right behind our driveway, so one kid could play there while the other swings and slides--no location compromise to be made during play time.



Above is another view of that same spot.  The trouble with it is it's closer to the main road that runs alongside our subdivision (the SUV in the distance is just beyond it).  The further from that, the safer I'll feel, but is the other end of the yard really that much safer?  And should it really concern me with relatively compliant four-year-olds who have never headed toward that particular road so far? 

That other end is below.



The space to the left of the trees is a large common area where the kids can run around.  To the right is our neighbor's yard.  The foreground is our property where Mike would have to do some extensive leveling (and yes, that's snow--almost gone).  I like this more secluded space because it feels safer and just more pleasant to me.  But if one kid wants to do sidewalk chalk on the driveway while the other wants to swing, I would have to position myself pretty strategically to keep an eye on both. 

The third option is right outside our family room window (kind of in between these two locations).  It would break up our backyard quite a bit, especially since we hope to put in a patio next year right beside that.  But being able to watch the kids from the couch someday might be nice...

Mike is going to get out there with stakes and string so we can really visualize these options and the work that could go into both.

What do you think?  Should we go with the area that requires more work but is more secluded or the one that is more convenient for driveway play and easier for installation?

The other question that we ponder is ground cover. Should we go all the way and build a play area with wood chips/recycled rubber for safety and easier lawn mowing?  We're leaning no on that one, but I could be swayed.

Highlights

The kids were very excited to get some mail the other day.  Grammie sent them High Five magazine!  We had a fun Saturday morning doing all the activities and reading the stories. 

Winter Adventures

It's no secret that this winter has been a rough one weather-wise. Along with taking advantage of our backyard snow, we have been keeping busy with some of our favorite local attractions.

Last month we went to the U of M Museum of Natural History.  We've been there before as a family, but now that dinosaurs are more interesting to Michael and Sophie, it was even more of a thrill.  Check out my saber tooth tigers.

Apparently the museum will be moving locations, so we'll have to get back a couple of times before the mastodons pack up and move out.  I really love that old building.

One of their buddies from school had a birthday party at Tiny Town.  We hadn't been there in a couple of years either, so it felt brand new again to the kids. 

We took the kids to their first movie in a theater a couple of weeks ago.  Like every other kid we know, they loved Frozen (and so did I).  We didn't take them sooner as the reviews mentioned the death of parents, a snow monster, and nearly freezing to death.  Michael especially is not a fan of scary scenes, but a little YouTubing beforehand to prepare him for that "big marshmallow" did the trick.  It also got us pretty excited about Olaf!

I have not mastered the art of taking a photo with my phone in a dimly lit theater, so this was the best I could get.  Little buddy.  :)

Most photos in theaters look like this:

This was taken at the Fox Theatre when we surprised the kids with Sesame Street Live again. 

They said it was a good surprise!  I know I loved it.  Getting tickets and Mike taking the day off (my mid-winter break) was a somewhat last minute decision brought on by all the photos of friends and their kids in warm places and mouse ears.  We aren't going on any big trips this year, so little adventures are in order!  And these kiddos will only love Elmo and Abby for so long.

Afterwards we went to lunch at Traffic Jam and Snug. 

I'm not sure if they were more excited for the show or the ice cream...looks like the ice cream!

 

We also went on a twin club play date to The Scrap Box where Michael and Sophie made creatures (a butterfly and a bird) out of recycled materials.  After talking more about recycling, they now also help me take our cans and boxes and so on out to the garage.  Having an attached garage makes that more possible than in the past, and Michael especially loves that job!

 

Check out Sophie outgrowing those 3T's.  Spring mom-to-mom sales, here we come!

Other than that, we've been having a great time with weekly lessons like Sophie's ballet:

and their shared swim classes:

Looking  back on all of this makes me feel a little better about Michael and Sophie watching two shows on Netflix while I typed this.  :S  Maybe we'll put our sad snow people out of their misery after nap today.

Before:

After:

That pretty much sums up how we all feel about winter at this point.  Come on, spring!

Valentines 2014

This year's valentines are done. Check!

Michael is giving bouncy balls, and Sophie is giving little puzzles. The puzzle idea came from Craftiness is Not Optional, and the ball idea came from Less Ordinary Designs. I even downloaded the printables but later decided to customize the labels.

I came up with a way to keep from totally doing the double duty of creating separate valentines for both kids to give. Their first year they just gave one together (the crayon hearts), but last year Sophie gave bubbles and Michael gave silly straws. Although they are both giving something this year as well, they are delivering them in the same package.

See...



...Sophie on one side...



...and Michael on the other.

The puzzles and balls both came from Oriental Trading. I found the bags at Target. I created the card labels using PowerPoint, cut them with a paper cutter, then folded and stapled them to the bags. Knowing a couple of punches with the hole punch and ribbon tied in a bow would be cuter than staples, I did pick up some colored string at Target as well. I gave in to ease, though, and stapled away. As I predicted, I wasn't thrilled with the look of the staple, the potential for scratching, or the fact that Michael or Sophie would appear to be on the "front" depending on how I stapled. Solution: I broke out the foam stickers I occupy the kids with occasionally and had them help me fix the Valentines up.

A few classmates will even get Valentine's adorned with Sophie's signature layered sticker technique.



These don't look nearly as polished as the pretty little printables out there, and they surely take a little more thought and effort than the boxes of valentine cards out there, but I'm pleased.  And I love that Michael and Sophie helped a bit for the first time!

A is for Apple....

Between the kids' nap last Sunday and their playing pretty peacefully together on the morning of a snow day (we've had a bunch this year), I was able to knock this out!

This same artwork was in the kids' playroom in the old house, of course.  It was inspired by a photo I saw in a Pottery Barn catalog that had the same concept on the wall of a nursery.  I didn't keep the catalog, and this is the only photo I could find online of the inspiration.  You can see the bird, but you'll have to trust me that the apple and caterpillar are up there, too.

It's funny to think back to making this for the old playroom before the kids were born.  We bought the frames with a gift card from the shower on the same shopping trip that I bought the pants I wore to the hospital.  I painted the chipboard letters and craft paper backing in our old basement with no distractions at all, aside from a big ol' belly.
 

 

I sketched the stencils with my feet up on the couch, the way I spent a lot of afternoons back then.  I thought I kept the cut-outs just as keepsakes. Turns out it was so I could do it all over again!

I don't have a very vivid memory of painting the design in the old house (pregnancy brain?), but I'm sure later on I'll remember the kids playing around me this time around as I tried not to mess up.  Mike pointed out before I began that we have no more yellow paint for the playroom, so touch-ups would not be an option.  The pressure made me feel all Michelangelo.

I believe I will also recall Sophie telling me I'm very good at painting and asking, "When I grow up to be a teacher, can I paint on the walls like you?"  That teacher thing came 100% from her, despite my suspicion that she has it in her.  I told her yes, by the way. 

Above is a photo I took from my painting perch on top of the toy shelves.  Later I discovered that I dripped paint in Sophie's hair.  Better there than on the walls!

While it was certainly easier to paint with two munchkins peacefully rolling around in my belly, this was admittedly more fun and rewarding, especially when Michael came down from his nap to see what I had started and declared it a "Great idea!" 

Sophie exclaimed that my work was "just beautiful" when it was done.  Best patrons ever.

 

Mike and the kids also added a shelf to the kitchen area this weekend.

 

I can't believe how much better this playroom feels to me now.  It's all warmed up with memories of preparing for these two, of infants crawling over my legs, and of a couple of toddlers stumbling around gumming teethers.  We're filling the space now with games of Candyland and Memory and all sorts of imaginative fun, of preschoolers making observations and playing contentedly by my side.