A glimpse of winter

Here's a quick glimpse into some Christmas and winter fun from this last week...



Last Saturday we picked out a tree in 20 degree weather and decorated it on Sunday.  This is the view from the landing upstairs.  Looking at it, especially from up there, fills me with joy, gratitude, and awe, so I think we picked a good one.

While we could (and surely will) put some living room furniture in that space as well, I'm really enjoying how functional it is empty.  Furniture would just get in the way of our "ice skating" in slippers.

On Wednesday evening we attended our 4th Christmas party at the kids' child care center.  Like last year, Sophie tried to sing in the two-song class concert and tried to muster up the nerve to sit with Santa, but once again both events led her to tears.  Another kid kept bumping her as they stood to sing, and her big smile and excited waves turned into flustered sobbing.  She spent the concert snuggling on my lap.  Later she walked right up and started to talk to Santa, but when he and Mike both leaned down to lift her onto the big guy's lap, she screamed in terror (for real...terrrrrror), her feet kicking in a blur as Mike carried her away.  She really tried!

Michael participated in the concert, but he was hidden a bit behind some taller kids, so the video isn't great.  He said he would sit with Santa after Sophie, but her reaction caused him to politely decline his turn.  The sweetie.

Sing it with me: Maybe next year.  However, Mike does have a work party this week and the kids know they can try again to talk to Santa there, so they're thinking about it.



Prior to the songs and Santa, we hung out in the kids' classroom for a bit.  I got there a little early and changed the kids into fancier clothes than the finger-paint and spaghetti stained gear I usually pick them up in, sitting in the same spot you see above to do so.  This is where the teachers sit for circle time, and within half a second of sitting there I had a dozen preschoolers around me showing off their sparkly shoes and tambourines and...that spot is asking for it.  When Mike arrived and offered to read "Sleeping Beauty" to Sophie in this spot, I almost warned him. Instead I enjoyed watching him get initiated as a preschool teacher.

This morning we welcomed the first big snow in our new house and finally put that little hill to the use we envisioned back in September.



Happy winter!

The Third Summer

The first summer was an extension of my maternity leave, an ongoing cycle of eating, playing, and sleeping that now leaves me remembering that time primarily as a joyous hibernation.  I started this blog that summer to help me take it all in.

Last summer we had one-year-old walkers.  With official toddlers on our hands, we played outside more, became brave enough to vacation, and worked to transition out of breastfeeding and down to one nap. 

When they return to their child care center in late August, Michael and Sophie will likely go into a transitional (gulp) preschool classroom. Seriously, that made me take a deep breath.  As they continue to grow from toddlers to little kids, there are a couple changes that we will embark upon in the remaining eight weeks or so of this third summer: potty training and ditching the pacifiers. 

I know it's getting way past time to have tossed the paci's already (they're two--26 months old), but since the kids only use them for sleeping, it just hasn't seemed worth the trouble of upsetting bedtimes just to meet some expectation of what is "normal."  Still, I do have the goal of getting rid of those suckers (pun sort of intended) before late August.

As far as the potty issue, we have two matching potty seats that the kids have sat on a few times without diapers but that are mostly stacked, unstacked, and stood on when Micheal and Sophie come to the bathroom with me.  We also have a toilet seat with a little one on the inside on the real toilet.  Michael has sat happily on there as well, but Sophie is not a fan.  Throw in the collapsable step stools (love those) that we currently use for brusha-brusha time, and we're...almost prepared.  We need some training pants, eventually big-boy and big-girl undies that I plan to have Michael and Sophie pick out, and maybe a chart and stickers.  But even once we have all the stuff, are we all reeeeeally ready?

Based on this article from the Mayo Clinic, Michael and Sophie are pretty much there.  However, I have yet to have seen a dry diaper in the morning, and there have been a few poopy ones recently.  I feel like I should wait for that before I give this a real go.

I'm also not certain of my method.  Will we just go to training pants and set a timer for every thirty minutes?  I've heard one mom say calling the timer the "potty fairy" worked pretty well since then it's not just mommy saying it's time to put down the toys and sit on the potty...again.  Maybe we should do that 3-day naked weekend potty training thing?

I don't know.  I do want to start this summer since I'm home with the kids, and playing outside makes accidents less of a thing, but obviously I still have some homework to do.

If you have any advice, as always, feel free to share!

Eggstravaganza

The kids and I went to the child care center's "Eggstravaganza" on Saturday morning.  Mike had a cold that reached its peak of ickiness that morning, so he sat this event out, and my mom and his parents joined the kids and me. 

Michael was also feeling pretty icky, so the games and animals didn't have the appeal for him we hoped they would.  Sophie was in a great mood though and jumped right into the egg hunt (Michael broke down when I held him back from getting started before it was time), and touched every animal.  Neither, however, wanted much to do with that big bunny.

The chilly morning provided the perfect opportunity to put the kids in the sweaters their great-great-aunt made for them before they were born.

Check out Sophie's Mick Jagger impresson!

Here's last year if you're interested.

My inner SAHM is satisfied.

Remember this?  I think it's time for a follow-up.

My worst fears about being a working mom in the babies' first year:

I would miss too much of their infancy.  The number one thing that helped me with that fear is remembering the first few months I spent at home with Michael and Sophie and how, no matter how much I held them or played with them, no matter how often I kissed them and snuggled them, I never felt what I was reaching for.  I learned that this love I have for Michael and Sophie means there just is no ENOUGH.  Home or away, that feeling is there.

An hour in the morning, several hours in the afternoon, weekends, and school breaks usually gave us a generous amount of time to play, reach milestones, and just live our lives together as a family.  But when I did find that I was feeling a sense of loss or sensed the babies wanted more time with me, I'd take a day off.  Spending a day in our jammies, living the daily routine of meals, diapers, play, and naps together always seemed to get us back in sync.

They would be unhappy or unsafe.  During a pick-up in their last week at child care before summer, Michael peeked out at me from a big climbing cube that he loves playing inside.  He was giggling and clearly wanted to share this treasure with me.  I started to feel bad about all he'll miss when he's at home with Sophie and me this summer.  How backwards is that?  But both he and Sophie have a ton of fun everyday at the center.  They learned to play and socialize with other kids in addition to the themed weekly lessons (I recently discovered they picked up more sign language than I realized), eat meals that set a standard of health we struggle to match at home, play on a fancy-schmancy playground, and are loved and known by their caregivers.  Obviously Michael and Sophie will be more than happy at home, but that flipside of my mommy guilt says something about how happy I know they have been this school year.

For two days a week my mom has also come to care for Sophie and Michael.  They have come to adore their grandma, and I'm comforted knowing there is another adult they feel so close to.  I had a similar bond with my own grandma, so I know I've actually given something to Michael and Sophie by providing this time.

As far as safety, I will always find something to worry about, but I know Michael and Sophie have been in the best possible hands.

Our bond would weaken.  My favorite moment of a work day was when Michael and Sophie noticed I had returned to them.  Often they would spot me kicking off my shoes through their classroom window or would hear me coming in the door at home.  But everytime their smiles were huge, typically accompanied by a squeal or two and an attempt to get to me as quickly as possible.

When company comes over or when we go somewhere new, Sophie in particular tends to turn into a spider monkey, clinging all fingers around the sleeves of my shirt and squeezing my sides with her knees, letting me know that holding her is the only option.  I don't love her anxiety and actually hoped that being in child care would prevent that, but I do love that I'm often the only person she wants in those moments.  Sorry, Mike, but I think that's how it's supposed to be.

These are just moments when I can see our bond is as strong as ever.  More importantly, I feel it.

They would be sick all the time.  Before going into child care, Michael and Sophie never even had the sniffles.  Since September there have been a number of colds and fevers, a case of pink eye, a couple ear infections, and many, many sniffles.  Overall, it hasn't been too bad, but there were a couple of rough weeks. 

There was one pretty bad bug that had nearly all of the other babies out of the infant room for a few days, but that passed Michael and Sophie by, thank goodness.  Perhaps there is something to the antibodies in breastmilk?

It would be too much stress.  Speaking of breastmilk, the absolute hardest part of the working mom lifestyle was breastfeeding and pumping.  Carting around all the gear, making time at work, getting to Michael and Sophie quickly enough in the afternoon, making sure I produced enough, and cleaning up and restocking for the next day was all pretty tough.  But with every dropped feeding it got easier and easier, and it was worth all the trouble.

It would be a financial mistake. Quality child care is crazy expensive, no question about it.  Fortunately I make a tad more than child care costs, and that tad came in pretty handy this year.  If I had stayed home, our finances would have been extremely tight, and I'm glad we had the flexibility to provide for our family's needs.

I would regret my decision.  I don't.  This was a great year.  I felt connected to my babies, was fully present with them in all of our time together, was able to provide for their needs, and am proud that I did it all as a breastfeeding, working mom.  In addition, I enjoyed a fulfilling year as a teacher (all politics and financial difficulties beyond my classrom aside) and look forward to the years like this one to come.

Bunnylicious

Like the Christmas party they threw back in December, the child care center that Michael and Sophie attend put on an Easter event today.  Initially we planned to skip it having already gone to an egg hunt this year, but when today's weather forecast looked amazing, we decided to go pet some farm animals and meet the Easter Bunny. 

We were lucky that both of Michael and Sophie's grandmothers could join us on such short notice.

Sophie and Michael are crazy about our cat these days, so we expected the petting zoo to be a hit.  They were into it a little bit, even called a couple critters "kitty" (more of a gurgling sound that we know means kitty), but like last week's egg hunt, we suspect animals will be a bigger source of excitement next year.

In one of our touch and feel books about life on a farm, the page with a patch of suede inside the shape of a cow reads, "Touch the cow.  Do it now."  Mike and I can't help but read that page in a Hanz and Franz accent.  The kids don't think we're funny, but we figure we'd better get used to that.

Touch the cow.  Do it now.

Our buddies have shown quite a bit of stranger anxiety lately, even toward grandparents and others they're pretty familiar with.  This made their one year photo shoot pretty much a bust and turned them into clinging monkeys for the first hour or so of their birthday party.  We totally expected to get one of those adorable screaming baby on the Easter Bunny's lap pictures if anything, but the enormous stuffed bunny who waved to them was apparently pretty exciting.

Here's Sophie's reaction:

 First she squealed.

Then she pointed.

Then she nearly leapt from my arms to get her hands on the bugger.

Despite the lack of pictures for proof, Michael got a big kick out of the Easter Bunny as well.



Happy Easter!

Daycare Day One

Today was Sophie and Michael's first real day at their child care center.  Here's the email their caregivers sent half-way through the day:

Good afternoon Infant families!

We’re having a wonderful day learning about veggies, fruits, and ways to stay healthy. To begin our day, we all got together for a healthy breakfast which included Cheesy eggs! Cottage cheese was mixed in with our eggs to make them fluffy; they looked amazing! We also enjoyed whole wheat toast, organic pears, and a glass of milk.

In our primary groups we continued to have a blast with our favorite fruits, veggies, and teachers! Ms. Amy’s group pointed to a carrot. Ms. Kim’s group rolled a cantaloupe, and Ms. Carrie’s group explored with grapes in a bag!

Then we got ready for a story! Eating The Alphabet by Lois Elhert was the perfect way to learn more about fruits and veggies. This appetizing alphabet book shows fruits and vegetables so juicy and alive, we wished they could jump off the page and into our mouths. We sure love fruits and veggies even more after this wonderful book.

Everyone loves to listen to their teachers sing, especially us! We enjoyed listening to the song “The Healthy Train” it is sung to the tune of “The Wheels on the Bus.” Here are the lyrics so we can enjoy your voices too:

The Healthy Train needs

Food to go, food to go, food to go,

The Healthy Train needs food to go

All through the day!

(Now add a food and sing the next verse)

The Healthy Train needs low fat milk,

Low fat milk, low fat milk,

The Healthy Train needs low fat milk

All through the day!

Add each of the following to the foods to the song and sing the last verse.

Fruit to go, fruit to go, fruit to go

Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables

Cereal, cereal, cereal

Lots of bread, lots of bread, lots of bread

Beans beans beans, beans beans beans, beans beans beans

Water to drink, water to drink, water to drink.

Then we pushed our sleeves up for art! Apple stamping was a great time, our teachers cut the apples in half, and we used our hands to move the apple all around on our paper.

Our little bellies were pretty hungry, so we got ready to have BBQ Chicken sandwiches for lunch! Homemade BBQ sauce and diced chicken were served on a whole wheat bun, along with organic apples, carrots, and milk. Snack this afternoon is sure to be a hit! We will enjoy animal crackers and applesauce! While we enjoy the applesauce, we plan to explore with it too! This will be a great sensory activity!

Enjoy the rest of your day!

They included these photos of Sophie and Michael as well on their first stroller ride around the center:

The center recently switched to a fully organic menu (they provide breakfast, lunch, and two snacks).  Once Sophie and Michael are onto table food, there's better stuff in store for them than we'll probably be giving them at home!  I watched the little infants finger paint some pink piggies when we did a pre-visit, so I'm sure Sophie and Michael participated in everything else in the day's activities.

It's certainly been challenging to leave the babies these last two days (yesterday with my mom) as I get ready for the school year.  Mike and I trust their caregivers completely and know that their safety and care is the top priority, so the struggle is just about missing them and hoping they're happy.  It helps tremendously that everyone seems to understand how tough this is for Mike, the babies, and me and is very patient with us as we adjust. 

I was told that Sophie was fussy for her first nap today and Michael had some trouble drinking from his bottle.  Their caregivers think she was overtired and that he was just distracted--sounds about right, and they did great and had fun otherwise.  I picked them up about fifteen minutes earlier than I will during the year and enjoyed feeding, playing, cuddling, and just generally caring for them in the hours remaining at home.  If we're protective of this time each day, there will be more than a good chunk of time to spend together.  Since quantity is limited now, we just really have to focus on the quality of the time we share.

Time with my babies is (sort of) priceless

Meet Mommy.

She exclusively breastfeeds, smooches toes and cheeks like an addict, and spends at least 30% of each day singing "Skinnamarinkadinkadink."  She's loving every second.

Meet Mrs. Liberty

She's attends school improvement meetings, enjoys the challenge of teaching Shakespeare and correct comma usage to grumpy hooligans, and is even starting to see teaching art this year as an unexpected opportunity.

Now, these two ladies may look friendly, but they are in a constant, raging cat fight.  I try to send them to separate corners, but then Mommy flings one of Sophie's mid-morning smiles at Mrs. Liberty, and Mrs. Liberty fires back with two hard-earned degrees and a savings account.  They're ruthless.

I found myself on the floor this morning smiling into a mirror with Sophie and Michael.  Immediately my brain started doing the math again.  What if I take one year off?  My contract allows that.  I could sub on the two days my mom comes and bring home, what, $150 a week?  Would that be enough?

This is where Mommy really lays into Mrs. Liberty.   Mommy sees her time with the babies as priceless.  There will never be another time like this with Sophie and Michael, so isn't even one year of getting by with no disposable income, no hair appointments or golf outings or contributions to savings worth it?  This family can get by on Mike's salary.  It would be very tight around here, but Mrs. Liberty doesn't HAVE to work.

But those two words "getting by" really make Mrs. Liberty cringe.  She's put a lot of energy toward building a career and getting finances set up for her family to enjoy a lifestyle that includes spending time on vacations and family outings and buying what is needed when needed without the threat of debt.  She can see how she may even be more energetic for her babies in those concentrated hours after work and on weekends, snow days, holiday breaks, and summer vacations with everyone's time divided into richer experiences. 

Mrs. Liberty won the round this morning.  The final blow was the bi-monthly home cleaning service she whipped directly at dust circling Mommy's feet.  Mommy just stared at it longingly, speechless for the moment.

Gearing up for going back

I took the babies in to visit their child care center again today after visiting last week for about an hour and a half.  On that day Sophie and Michael met two of their three caregivers, drank expressed milk from their bottles, and had some floor time with their new, gigantic friends.  The other babies currently in the infant room are all six months or older, sitting up, crawling, and occasionally tackling anyone in their paths.  Sophie and Michael did great that day with all of that excitement and even better today.

I planned today's visit so the babies would be ready for a nap while there, and they both slept for about 30 minutes in their assigned cribs.  Those aren't very long naps, but I'm thrilled Michael and Sophie were comfortable enough to fall asleep, even with the noise of their classmates playing just outside a curtained wall.  Sophie was a little unhappy when I first put her down in her crib, but in her Swaddle Me with her hands at her face like she likes and with a little soothing she dozed off.  Michael fell asleep in his primary caregiver's arms, but he woke up when transferred to the crib (pretty typical of him).  He didn't really fuss, just stared up at us with big, bright eyes, telling us that method just wasn't gonna fly.  I sat in a rocker with him, patted his back like we do at home, and Michael too drifted off.  He didn't stir at all, even with all the noise nearby, when I wrapped him in his Miracle Blanket in his crib.

I hung out with the three caregivers and the other babies while Sophie and Michael slept and felt a little nostalgic for my own child care work experience.  I worked for two years at a similar center in high school and college.  I started there as an assistant in the front office but spent most of my days there as a travelling sub and summer camp teacher.  By the time I left to work privately for a local family, I knew every kid and family there, was a highly requested sub in the building, and I knew I wanted my kids to go to a center like that one day. 

As much as I cringe at the portion of our income that will go to Sophie and Michael's center, I'm glad it is one with educated and professional caregivers and where they emphasize play-based learning, age appropriate curriculum, and lesson planning even at the infant level.  The super cool playground and organic meals that Sophie and Michael will enjoy soon enough also make us happy with our choice.  The fact that this is the only center in our area open from 6:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. allowing me to drop off before work when necessary is also key.  I've considered in-home centers and nannies, but I'm most comfortable with the flexibility, reliability, and professionalism of this option. 

When the babies woke up, I fed them again from bottles to get them used to eating that way there.  We left shortly after that, stopping in at the front office to confirm the details of their enrollment.  They'll be attending three days a week with my mom coming to care for them at home on the other two.  Generally with twins there's a rate for the first child and a discounted one for the second (like with any siblings), but back when we visited in December I negotiated to get the discounted daily rate for both.  It's not a huge savings, but every little bit helps!  I left today knowing that when I'm sitting through a full day of professional development back at work, as much as I'll long to be with my little buddies, I'll be able to fully picture what they're experiencing and will breathe easy...probably.

Back at home, Sophie and Michael have been napping quite a bit, making up for what they lost at the center.  I took advantage of that time to goof around on FB, return some emails, blog, and....watch my DVR'd episodes of General Hospital.  They did a sort of retrospective on Soapnet last night to gear viewers up for the return of Brenda today. 

Having spent several hours in a child care center and then some time watching GH from 1997, I'm feeling a bit like a time traveller.